Herbal Tonics Sold In China Were Oops Actually Just Viagra Dissolved In Water

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Imagine you are swinging by a gas station in downtown Beijing, on your way to see a lady friend, but not feeling all that randy. Can’t not be horny when you walk in the door. That’s not Bro. So by the checkout counter you see one of those weird Spanish Fly-looking, all natural health things that promises instant arousal or some shit.

All Natural Boner Jamz 3000. It’s got ginseng and guarana and jujuac and capaybra and god knows what else. Probably a lot of dirt.

But it’s a natural way to get your dick hard. An erection of the Earth. So it’s cool. So you take it.

Well… uhhh…. I have some bad news for you. Has your boner subsided yet? It hasn’t? And it’s been almost three hours?

Yea. I know. That’s because what you were drinking wasn’t some simple cock kombucha, but really Viagra soaked in water. Via the Daily Mail;

51 pharmaceutical manufacturers in China are suspected of spiking 69 different brands of alcoholic tonics with viagra.

The herbal tonics are used for improving men’s health, including increasing sexual dexterity.

It is thought that the addition of viagra was intended to speed up the process.

That sounds about right. But it wasn’t just about your boner.

It is thought that the motivation for adding the viagra was to boost sales as the tonics would work faster than normal.

“Hey man, this all natural drink gets my dick so hard so fast you should try it.”

That’s what a businessman in China wanted you to say. That’s what he told his bosses he could get you to say.

Now he’s going to jail for it.

19 manufacturers are already facing criminal prosecution while others are still under investigation, reported People’s Daily Online.

Bummer. The worst part is that while all these folks are in jail, someone is gonna start producing Viagra Drink and get really, really rich.