Heading to Hawaii anytime soon? Try not to have sex with anyone while there, Don Draper, because the state now harbors a sex "superbug" that will kill you in about 2.5 seconds.
The gory details from the always understated Daily Mail:
The 'sex superbug' called H041 was first discovered in Japan in 2011. It spread to Hawaii, and has now surfaced in California and Norway.
Peter Whiticir with the State Department of Health says advisories have been sent to physicians and health care providers around Hawaii to be on the lookout for the resistant strain of gonorrhea.
Doctors are warning that an antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhoea, now considered a superbug, has the potential to be as deadly as the AIDS virus.
Gonorrhea is the second most commonly reported sexually transmitted infection in North America.
‘This might be a lot worse than AIDS in the short run because the bacteria is more aggressive and will affect more people quickly,’ Alan Christianson, a doctor of naturopathic medicine told CNBC.
Alright. Jesus, that's terrifying. I'm a little confused as to how this particular strain of gonorrhea will actually kill you, but the "executive director of the National Coalition for STD Directors," William Smith, is asking Congress for $54 million in funding to combat Super-Clap, so this nasty little evolved strain must be serious.
Plain ole gonorrhea is on a rise as well. The last available class of antibiotics recommended for the treatment of the clap isn't really working, and there's a "very real prospect" that all types of gonorrhea will soon mutate to an untreatable form.
As Charles Darwin famously said 150 years ago, "That chick'll make your dick fall off, brah."
[Sad patient image via Shutterstock]