Life
by Victoria McKenzie on April 12, 2013

If YOU’RE the Problem

Kick Up Your Workouts
You may wake up in the morning with sex on the brain and be daydreaming about it throughout your long day at work, school or your internship but by the time you get home you’re exhausted. Exhaustion is the world’s number one cock block. Next time you’re leaning towards heading home to crash on your couch rather than go out with your girl or out to pickup smutts with your best wingman – head to the gym. Even though you feel like you’re about to crash the workout will stimulate your body and mind to help you beat fatigue, feel more energetic and give your libido a boost. Magic.

Think Outside the Bedroom
Maybe you’re having less sex because you’re bored. Granted, sex never gets old but the same routine over and over sometimes does. Change things up a bit and get creative. The couch, the shower, the living room floor, the bedroom floor, the kitchen floor, the kitchen table, your apartment alone has endless possibilities. If you’re feeling adventurous and find a girl that’s down you can start a bucket list of places to get it on. Some examples include the library, an empty classroom, the football field, a cab, the bar’s private room or your office. You won’t be bored anymore and will both be excited to scratch that next location off your list.

Reevaluate Who You’re Boning
Have you already tried the step above and still feel bored? Dump the lazy girl you’ve been penetrating and trade her in for a sleeker, faster model. Sex is many things but boring should never be an adjective you use to describe your sex life. Hell, if I had to do all the work every time I hooked up, I would try to find excuses to get out of it too. “Oh, tonight? With you? Yeah, um.. I have a migraine. Sorry, can’t.” Find a girl who’s willing to work and has more than one move up her sleeve.

If SHE’S the Problem

Cuddling
If she complains that she can’t tonight because she’s tired suggest just hanging out and staying in. Watch a movie, drink some wine* and just chill. When you guys “go to sleep” try cuddling up and gently run your fingers over her skin. Studies have proven that most sexual encounters are initiated through subtle body contact like snuggling. Press up against her a little bit and kiss the back of her neck. Boom. Putty in your hands. You’re in for a quickie and will probably get lucky again come morning.

Giving Body Specific Compliments
If the girl you’re after is giving you major blue balls and has been leading you on for weeks (Ok, it’s been days but it might as well be years!) try dropping not so subtle compliments. You’ve tried being a gentleman and that’s gotten you to first base. Big deal. Kick it up a notch, stop being coy and focus your compliments specifically on her body. Tell her that her short dress has been driving you crazy all night or that you can’t focus on anything when she’s wearing jeans that tight. She’ll either pickup on how much you want her and start to give in or she’ll be a total bitch about it. She’s not into and giving you the evil eye? K, bye.

Calling Bullshit
If you get the “I’m tired” or “I have a headache” excuse it’s almost always a white lie to get out of it. She’s not that tired and her head is probably fine. This is a delicate situation and must be approached with caution. I definitely do not recommend that you suggest that she go to the gym to raise her libido and overcome her fatigue. Never tell a woman she should go to the gym. However, if she pulls this all the time you can ask what the deal is. Tell her that you respect the fact that she won’t be down for sex 24/7 like you often are but this whole act is getting ridiculous. Ask her what the real issue is and if she can’t have a conversation with you about her sudden celibacy, say bye. You and your blue balls can do better.

*Wine is a key ingredient in getting laid. In fact, you can probably skip all of the above and just force-feed the girl some vino. It makes us feel uninhibited, sexy and horny. Wine is the elixir of sex.

Don’t stop, get it, get it,
McKenzie

[Sex image via ShutterStock]

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