With Halloween almost upon us a wise Redditor posed this question to the masses, “Haunted attraction workers of Reddit, what are some of the best, worst, and funniest stories you have?”
Of course, asking such a question on Reddit could only result in stories that range from creepy to hilarious to WTF, because that’s how the Internet rolls.
Here are some of the best…
WaspFilledShirts‘ story starts out slow, but ends with a bang.
Currently an actor and the make up artist at a haunted house this season. The other night we had a couple come in and they were obviously drunk. The husband complained about the price very loudly, though we are one of the cheaper haunted houses. They went through half of the haunted house, got spooked, had fun. Then they came to the scene previous to mine. In this scene we have two kids, one with a real chainsaw without the chain and the other is his victim. This couple was so scared the woman took off her shoe and started to beat the victim with it. The husband grabbed chainsaw guys nipple and twisted it while screaming as loud as possible. They actually got mad because they couldn’t touch the actors. The same woman proceeded to just squat and pee in the clown scene. People are strange.
Wolfxskull shares one of the perils of actually being TOO scary…
I work at a haunted farm. I’m a psycho clown who wields a chaimsaw and I jump out and chase people out the door at the end of the haunted house. One of the funniest things I’ve seen was when three girls came through and I did my scary thing and chased them towards the door and the girls all just put there heads down and charged the door completely missed the panic bar to open the door and all three of them collided head first into the door and fell into a heap of terror on the ground. Luckily they were young and bounced right back up like nothing happened. Also I scared a group of guys and I’m pretty sure one shit himself, my whole room reeked of pure unadulterated asshole for far too long to have been a fart.
thebadpipsisewah tells a story about one overly-enthusiastic old dude…
I used to help at a haunted hayride a few years back and there was a guy who was a few years older than us but was very into the job and always did a bit more than anyone else. He used to jump onto the back of the tractor then get underneath and hide while it was moving to then jump out and scare those who had forgotten about him. Well one night he fell off and was run over by the tractor. It happened all of about 50 yards away from my attraction. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that sound. The worst part was that the trail they used was very narrow and there was a tractor behind the one he was on so it took what seemed like forever for the ambulance to get to him. I think he damaged his vocal chords and he walked with a cane when he finally came back to see us the next year, thankfully he made it out though.
mightysquirrell‘s co-worker almost created a real house of horrors…
I worked at an amusement park during the first year they put on their Halloween event. The park would switch over to scary at night.
I worked the haunted mansion ride (I was normally a rides operator), which they had revamped with scarier decorations and they also installed areas inside the moving ride where employees would stand to do additional scaring. One such area involved a chain link cage with an employee inside, and they had some sort of metal rod that plugged into the wall that produced sparks when touched to the chain link.
On the very first night, about an hour in, the dude in the cage nearly burned the whole ride down. Smoke, fire alarm, had to evacuate the ride, etc. He got too enthusiastic and burned part way through the cord on the metal rod and singed some of the decorations. haha! We all thought it was hilarious, the park probably didn’t.
Googunk witnessed the de-balling of a husband…
A family of 3: husband, wife, and their maybe 8-year old daughter are leaving the haunted house. The door bursts open. Big bro turns on the chainsaw in one pull and revs it hard over his head. The dad grabs his daughter, throws her to the side causing her to trip over the mom, and then he sprints straight out the door, leaving his wife and child to fend for themselves. The wife just looks startled at first, then clarifies, then in a moment is completely despondent as the weight of the situation occurs to her. She hasn’t taken a step yet. She makes eye-contact with big bro that explains her feelings about the matter quite clearly. Big bro wasn’t prepared for this, turns off chainsaw, slinks back into the door way and closes the door. Wife and child walk out slowly and silently.
The scariest thing you can see on Halloween: a woman who just found out the father of their child will instinctively sacrifice both of them and run from danger.
Cyberstrike shared a couple of doozies…
The first one, I’d been working for about three years, and this year I was pretty close to the begining of the haunt. I was in this graveyard setup, underneath a red light. This was way before I made my own costumes, so here I was in nothing but black clothes and a generic black cape. I had some of the fancy scarecrow vampire fangs as well, but I digress. As part of my act, I would run at this little bitty fence, and that usually scared the fuck out of people. The other important detail is the floor. It went from solid wood covered in sand, to old mattresses to make the customers sink. I’d usually scare them right before the mattress part. We had one particular group come through that year that made my haunt. It was a group of black people, and there was one woman in particular that was…no nice way to put it. She was a whale of a human being. So I do my usual act and rush the fence. this lady flies backward, nearly taking out the wall, then proceeds to the mattresses. I follow her, of course, and she falls down. I shit you not, rather than try to stand up, she rolls out of the room like you would down a hill, screaming like a banshee the whole time. I assume she stood up later, as it would be impossible to roll through the whole haunt.
The second one is a bit more recent, and it happened to a friend of mine. She had large bat wings that year, and the girl can do some kind of inhuman screaming. Well, she generally screamed and then popped out at people, enormous bat wings spread, and scared them to death. This one customer. Oh, this one person. There was a foul smell soon after she did her thing, and in a moment she noticed the person doing a weird dance. Well, person left and the smell was there and getting worse. Turns out the “dance” was this person making sure the turd they had just shat out stayed in the room with my poor friend. Other than that we get an enormous amount of creative exclaimations, bunch of people peeing, and something gets broken every year. This year, we’ve had a door break down because two terrified girls ran through it. We had to stop the haunt to try and fix it.
And finally, Incontinentiabutts saw the truth come out…
I worked at a haunted hayride in college. I was dressed as Bigfoot and my job was to jump out of the bushes onto the back of the cart and roar at people. In between cart loads of people I would smoke joints. One time I jumped up on the cart and this teenager goes “wow he smells like straight up weed”. Her mom shot her a look and said “how do you know what that smells like”. The mum then proceeded to glare at the daughter
Check out the rest of the stories over at Reddit.
Scary woman image by Shutterstock