Life
by Rebecca Martinson on June 12, 2014

hannibal

Personally, I don’t really pine over old relationships. If it’s over it’s over, The End, go fuck yourself. On the other side of the spectrum, here we have Nomonde Soloshe (who shall henceforth be referred to as “Nicki”) whose boyfriend was lucky enough to be eaten by her ex lover. Wait, did I say eaten? Lemme check…

“When we got there the man kept muttering ‘I am the king’ and declaring his undying love for the woman. He then cut the heart out and ate it before the police came and took him away,” the neighbour said… On the scene they found a suspect, a Zimbabwean, eating the heart of a human with a knife and fork,” said Van Wyk.

“[The police] were informed that the victim had been stabbed on the left side of his chest and in his neck, and had a bite mark on the right side of his face.”

Via Times Live

Ah yes, eaten. It’s like Cinderella, except the wicked step sisters stab poor lil’ Cindy and then let those singing mice feast on her corpse. Probably the best part about all of this is that they called in a clinical psychologist as a resource, who gave the police the incredibly useless information that

“Clinical psychologist Ian Meyer described the act of removing Manona’s heart as a ‘primitive symbol of triumph’.”

Yes, Nicki’s boyfriend got eaten because of primitive triumph symbols, not because her ex was a fucking lunatic who just happened to be hungry. Score one for psychology and 0 for cannibals.

[H/T Elite Daily]

Rebecca Martinson

About Rebecca Martinson...

Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.