Life
by Andy Moore on September 26, 2013

Dan Nainan is a self-proclaimed “100% clean comic,” who is a hack. He isn't a hack because he's clean (Jim Gaffigan is mostly clean; Jerry Seinfeld hasn't dropped an on-stage f-bomb in decades), Nainan is a hack because he has never changes his hacky ethnic material, he openly brags in mass emails about his cushy corporate gigs, and he once tried to literally bribe his way onto Marc Maron's WTF podcast. When you Google Nainan's name, “hack” is the first option you're given.

That's not a hacky joke. Comedians really think that lowly of this guy.

Why? Here's Nainan trotting out the same opening joke—”I'm Japanese and Indian so I buy my sushi at 7/11s! LOLOL”—in three different sets, separated by years. 

I couldn't make it through any more. But I'm willing to bet there isn't an incredible diversity of material to be found in the three.

On WTF, Maron refused to name Nainan when he read the email of a “corporate clean comic” who tried to bribe his way onto the show, but comedians on the “A Special Thing” forum immediately uncovered that it was Nainan. Nainan has a habit of sending these kinds of emails to fellow comics. They're kind of incredible. Here's the beginning of one:

Dear Friends,

I just received the initial deposit for a corporate show in Dubai that's coming up in a couple of weeks. The show pays $8000, yes, that's right, EIGHT THOUSAND US DOLLARS for less than one hour's work! And yes, I'll be flying in First Class as usual, in unbelievable luxury, with a flat bed! I'll be checking out the indoor ski range, surfing on the sand dunes, visiting the tallest building in the world and the world’s largest shopping mall, and luxuriating by the pool at my five star hotel. And yes, I will send pictures!

I know I shouldn't be gloating, and I know I should be spending my time working on my book in preparation for my upcoming meeting with my literary agent, and I know it really pisses off poor-ass alcoholic drug addicted comedians when you tell them how much money you make, but when something like this happens, such as the $15,000 corporate show I did earlier this year in San Francisco, or dealing with the deluge of royalty checks from my Apple commercial ($22,000 so far and SAG health insurance, thank you), I just can't help but think about all the people who told me (and still tell me) that I'm a hack, and that I shouldn't be doing ethnic material, I'm a sellout, and so forth. 

 

Etc. Enough Internet ink has been spilled already on a guy who makes his bones entertaining conference attendees so bored that anything sounds funny. 

I forget who said it—I think it was Patton Oswalt—but apparently there is a comedian's axiom that says clean comics always turn out to be either the biggest assholes in the field or most depraved guys to be found. Nainan certainly fits one bill or another.