There are 0 things in this world that I care enough about that would make me stay awake for 3 days straight. Skip class, sure. But sleeping? Nah, that’s one of my top 3 favorite activities right after eating. But for one Chinese fan, watching the World Cup is more important than, y’know…not dying.
“A football fan has died after staying up until the early hours for three straight nights watching World Cup matches… Zhou Meng, 39, from Shanghai, died from a brain haemorrhage while watching Costa Rica’s exciting 3-1 win over Uruguay. The high blood pressure sufferer was rushed to the Shanghai No. 10 People’s Hospital after suffering a stroke and pronounced dead several hours later.”
This isn’t an isolated case either. There must be a World Cup associated disease that causes everyone’s brains to turn to pure shit, because the number of emergency patients increased by 50% over the weekend.
“Some 40% had respiratory or stomach problems, often caused by irregular eating and sleeping patterns. Most group games start at midnight, 3am, 4am and 6am, in China leaving fans struggling to balance their football fix with their daily routine.”
Jesus crikey fuck people, just pay for some delivery pizza and have them throw it through a window towards you. Or, I dunno, get a DVR? You live in China for tits’ sake, shitty Comcast DVR boxes are practically growing on trees over there. Record the games like a normal first world country and go the fuck to bed.