People, if you’re going to get plastic surgery don’t do it to your face. Sure there’s the chance that your new set of lip implants will look good, but is it really worth the risk of transforming your face into an inflated vagina? I don’t think so. But then again what do I know, I’m just a normal looking human being who hasn’t transformed myself into…well, this:
https://www.instagram.com/p/xpmFqMQD8s/Yes, that is a person. Yes, it is a man. Yes, he looks like shit. Why are you asking me all these questions? You already know the answers since we covered Jordan James Parke over a month ago. But for those of you who were lucky enough to spare your eyes and continue living your blissfully ignorant lives, here’s a summary:
Jordan James Parke spent over $115K on plastic surgery so he would look like Kim Kardashian. He has had the following procedures: Lip fillers, cheek fillers, laser hair removal, botox, eyebrow tattoos, and vampire facials.
He now looks like shit.
Now that we’re all caught up, Jordan wants to add to that list of surgeries and get his ass blown up to planetary-sized proportions so that he looks even less like Kim Kardashian and more like something that crawled out of a nuclear waste dumpsite.
Speaking on ITV’s This Morning, he said: “I love Kim’s bum. Her bum is amazing. She’s just an inspiration.”
And how big is he prepared to go?
“I’d like to go as big as her, but I wouldn’t get implants. “I’d get body-contouring. I want to get lipo on my stomach and back. They then put the fact back into your bum.”
Sorry to break it to you Jordan, but if you want your ass to be as big as Kim’s you’re going to have to jack it up with some saline implants, because that shit ain’t natural. Then again, “natural” clearly isn’t the look you’re going for…
https://www.instagram.com/p/xl9I8UwD5z/