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Don’t You Hate It When You’re Chatting With A Neighbor And His Mastiff Suddenly Bites Your Cock Off?

By / 08.01.14

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This dude named Yang from China had a pretty shitty day yesterday. He stopped by his next door neighbor’s house for a quick chat, and all was going fine, but then things took a turn for the cock-ripping when his neighbor’s huge Mastiff dog lunged at Yang and straight up ripped his dick off. Such a not chill move on the part of that Mastiff.

Yang looked down and saw that his pants were soaked with blood, and he was probably all, “dude, your dog just ripped my dick off,” which I imagine, as far as neighbor convo’s are concerned, has gotta be one of the more awkward ones. I feel like there are some holes in this story, much like the hole where Yang’s dick used to be. I wear pants a ton, almost every day, and I feel like if you’re wearing pants and a dog lunges at you, it would be pretty damn hard for the dog to get a hold of your hog and rip it off.

Perhaps Yang just took a piss and didn’t realize that he left his little Yang dangling out of his zipper? Maybe he was taunting his neighbor by swinging his dick around? I have no idea, but the story as is feels a little off.

Yang went to the hospital and was able to have surgery to successfully reattach his penis, but he’s still probably a little bummed that his dick looks like Frankenstein’s monster now.

I’m sure the neighbor was super apologetic and felt like an asshole for all this going down, right?

Mr Yang has now called the police to report the incident. However, the neighbour is said to have disappeared and he can’t be contacted.

Interesting, I guess that’s one way to deal with it. I would love to be traveling the rails like a drifter gypsy, shooting the shit with a fellow rail rider, exchanging stories. I ask him what brought him to the open road and he says, “Mudge here chomped down on my neighbor’s dong, ripped it clean off. It was then we realized that our feathers were too bright to keep us caged, and we hit the open road.”

[H/T Daily Mail]
[Image via Shutterstock]


TAGSdog bites off penisweird news
Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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