Life
by Mr. T on May 22, 2013

1. If you haven’t heard of Dewey Beach, then you either a) don’t live in the Northeast or b) don’t know anyone who likes to have fun. Dewey Beach is all of 0.3 square miles of land, but has about as much fun on hand as you can have in a weekend. Those who have been there (myself included) swear by it. One key thing that makes Dewey great is that you don’t need a car the whole fucking time you’re there. You will, however, need a car to get there in the first place. It’s very accessible by a lot of different major cities. You can get there in under 2:45 from Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington D.C. The trip from New York is a tad longer at 3.5 hours, but it’s worth that journey at least once a summer. If you’re not drinking from the time you hit town to the time you leave, you’re not doing things right.

2. Your best bet for housing is via renting a condo or house for the weekend. The prime location is in the center because there are bars on each edge of town. Ideally you want to be on either Bellevue, Dagsowrthy, or McKinley streets, but nothing is too far away. There are hotel/motel options as well. Adams Ocean Front and Atlantic View are probably the best combination of price and amenities. (Even being near the beach, having a pool is a plus.) You can also crash one of the Sea Esta Motel properties if you’re looking for some bottom barrel shit.

3. There isn’t much to do at Dewey other than drink, eat, and go to the beach. If you can’t find the beach, you’re probably drunk. (Not a surprisingly thing given what you’ll be doing in Dewey.) You have to be a little careful when drinking on the beach. Cops in Dewey are notoriously dickheads about open containers, especially in peak afternoon hours during the weekends. If you're going to imbibe, you'll look a lot less conspicuous throwing your beverage in a Tarvis Tumbler vs. a solo cup. Cans are a dead giveaway. Bottles are a big no-no since it's a fucking beach. Delaware beaches were ranked #1 in water quality of any coastline in America, so at least you’re getting some clean fucking water.

4. If you make it into town in time, you have to head to Taco Toss at 4 p.m. on Fridays at The Lighthouse. It’s something like $5 for 2 tacos and a drink. People come straight off the beach in cover ups, tanks and swimwear. It’s pretty legit and is the perfect way to start your weekend. Other gems if you’re there earlier in the week include Taco Tuesday at Que Pasa followed by $1 night at Northbeach. Laura Lea & Tripp Fabulous, a well-known band to Dewey regulars, play every Wednesday night at The Starboard.

5. Your Saturday (and holiday weekend Sunday) afternoons should be spent at Bottle & Cork for the Jam Sessions. It starts at 5 p.m. and everyone on the beach makes a concerted effort to get over there in time. Who doesn’t like drinking in the late afternoon? Bottle & Cork lines up the cover bands and theoretically you could stay there all night for the $10 cover if you wanted to. The place is fucking packed and everyone is jamming away, hence the name. The air horn goes off to start up the Jam Sessions and whichever band is on usually kicks it off with the Star Spangled Banner. Just remember that it's cash only.

6. Your best bet for fun (and drunk girls to hook up with) on Fridays and Saturday night comes at the Rusty Rudder. You’ve got a better chance of finding girls there than you do at any other bar in town. It’s a pretty huge space with cover bands playing on the outdoor deck and either a DJ or another cover band doing things in the inside room. Just like with a lotta summer towns, the bars close at 1 a.m. so just be prepared. Your main alternatives to the Rusty Rudder are The Starboard and Northbeach. They both deliver a slightly more relaxed atmosphere than the Rusty Rudder (just don’t expect a tea party) with cover bands.

7. Make sure you wake up early on Sunday and head to The Starboard for Suicide Sunday. They’ve got a kick ass “make your own” Bloody Mary bar to go along with a decent breakfast. Make sure to rock your lax tank tops for this one. You can tell the party level is high since people show up in some interesting outfits.

8. There are some popular local drinks to have at the bars. Girls love having the Orange Crush, which seems to be available at every fucking bar. They’re not bad and you can mix it up and do a Grapefruit Crush if that’s more your thing. The Dewey Devil (a mix of rum and all sorts of fruit) is the signature at Northbeach. If you need a pick me up, try a Bullshark (vodka, champagne, and Red Bull) at The Starboard. The Starboard also does HUGE bottles of champagne.

9. The bands you should be looking out for include the following: Go Go Gadget, Kristen and the Noise, Love Seed Mama Jump, and Burnt Sienna. Good bands mean good fun crowds because most people know who to be looking out for.

10. Food isn’t really a high priority at Dewey Beach. It’s more about getting something in your stomach so you don’t blackout at 4 p.m. I fully endorse grilling at the house when you can, but you’ll likely have to grab meals in town at some point. Nick’s Philadelphia Cheese Steaks and Gyros actually hold up to their name pretty well. They make some decent heroes too. Your best pizza options are Mama Maria’s near Nick’s or Mama Celeste. (Avoid Grotto Pizza if you can.) Dewey Beach Grill gives you a well rounded menu. You can grab some decent seafood and sit outside at Ed's Chicken & Crabs. Wings-to-Go offers some good take-out wings. Sharky's Grill is the spot for awesome Cuban breakfast sandwiches on Saturday. Sunrise provides a more traditional greasy hangover breakfast. If you’re willing to drive for a damn good sandwich, Arena’s deli in Rehoboth gets that done.

P.S. I didn’t mention it in full because it’s not actually in Dewey, but you wouldn’t be poorly served to make a day trip to Seacrets in Ocean City, MD. It’s a 40-minute ride and hopefully someone’s willing to DD. You’ll sit out on rafts in the water all day and drink. It’s a crazier day party than anything you’ll get in Dewey.

Mr. T

About Mr. T...

Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s fantasy sports expert and resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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