Have you ever heard of earplugs? Because apparently Antonio Flores hasn’t. Maybe if he owned a pair he wouldn’t have stabbed his roommate for being too loud during a threesome. And really, is there any such thing as “too loud” when it comes to a threesome? It’s like finding a unicorn with a pot of gold on its back. Sure it’ll never happen again, but the one time it does happen you’re sure as shit gonna scream and freak the fuck out.
Antonio Flores, 42, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of burglary with intent to commit felony force.
According to his arrest warrant, on May 8, Flores kicked down the door to his roommate’s bedroom and complained he was being too loud. According to the San Antonio Police Department, the 36-year-old roommate was having sex with two women in bedroom at the time of the assault.
Investigators said Flores grabbed a knife and stabbed his roommate several times, including his head, back and arms. The victim was taken to University Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.
Police said both women were able to identify Flores, by name, from a photo lineup the night the alleged assault took place.
Flores was arrested three months later and booked into the Bexar County jail.
Ah, good ol’ roommate dynamics. Maybe if they’d had a nice little sit-down meeting beforehand to discuss appropriate volume levels within their apartment nothing would’ve-
Just kidding, who the fuck does that? Diplomacy is for congress, not my goddamn living room.
I want more like this!
Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.