Life
by Fitz E Fresh on October 24, 2012

Q: There's this girl I've been talking to for a few weeks now and things have been going great except that its recently come to light that her ex is still in the picture and she's on the fence about trying to fix things with him. Apparently he's some douche that treats her like shit. Normally I'd cut ties and jump ship but this is the first chick in almost 3 years I've actually cared about as more than just a slam.

My dilemma: I'm a guy that fights for what I want and what/who I care about, and I do care about this girl. But I'm also a guy who won't settle for being anyone’s “next best choice”.

Obviously these two traits of mine are completely at odds about what to do in this situation. Do I try to oust the ex (who, btw, doesn't go to our university) or do I say to hell with is and cut her loose?

Any advice would be appreciated.

A: I see where you're coming from breau, and I respect the moral high ground. But instead of worrying about becoming the NEXT best choice, do what you have to do to become the ONLY choice. If this ex is as big of a douche as you claim, then you actually have the advantage– all you have to do is be better that that.

Shouldn't be too hard.

Go out of your way to show her what its like to be treated right, even if its as simple as always holding the door for her or cooking her dinner.

Sometimes that's alll a girl needs to see what she's missing out on.

Oh, and some of that good good lovin'.

Q: Can bros pull off scarves? I feel like I could look classy as fuck, but I don't want to do it wrong. What do you think?

-Penispants

A: I think you would look more along the lines of classy as gay rather than classy as fuck. Which isn't a problem, unless, you know– you're trying to give off straight vibes. Which is also a tough call, considering you signed your email, “penispants”.

Should probably leave the scarf at home, metrobreau.

Q: Do girls like nipple play? I always assumed it was one of those things where people SAY woman like nipple play, just like how Cosmo tells women that men like when they play with our buttholes. Newsflash — don't touch my butthole. Anyway, back to my original question. Do all girls like their nips played with, or is that just an urban myth?

A: Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

This question was also asked by a certain “penispants”, so I just can’t fucking take it seriously.

Next.

Q: I was wondering, how would I tell my friend whose a girl I like her? Should I get wasted and tell or or what should I do?

A: No, no, NO young bro. If you asked me that in person just now I’d slap your hand with a fucking ruler, because you sound like a little schoolgirl- and you've got shit all kinds of wrong. Getting wasted and doing it would literally be the worst way to go about this, so let's start from there. 

The drunker you are, the more likely you are to say something you didn't mean to, seem ingenuous about the whole thing, and/or blackout and remember none of it.

Picture the next morning, when you can't remember what you told her,and have no idea if she remembers either.Awkward; for both of you. If you're serious about telling this girl how you feel, do so in a setting and state of mind that makes it unmistakable that you mean it.

No, that doesn't include the movie theater, or the dining hall.  

Submit your Ask a Babe questions here.