Life
by Victoria McKenzie on December 14, 2012

Statistically, men think about sex more times a day than women do but we still think about it.. A lot. We just show little to no physical signs of being horny so you often have no idea that we have sex on the brain. Personally, I think about it in the most mundane places. In college it was in the library and now it’s commuting to and from work on the subway. My fellow commuters have no idea that I’m reminiscing about a hot past hookup or fantasizing about a future one that I’d like to make happen. The vibrations coming through the seat from the rails definitely doesn’t help either. After day dreaming on the subway twice a day every day, I am ready to go come the weekend. However, you wouldn’t know this if you met me out on a Friday night unless you were taught to read the signs. So how can you tell if the girl you have your eye on is hurting for a squirting? Every girl is different, but look out for the clues below.

She’s Sassy
Sometimes a girl will purposely be rude or have an attitude with you when she wants to get it in. It’s kind of like in elementary school when she was mean to the boy she liked. She may make playful jabs or in severe cases of sexual deprivation, painful jabs. When the bitchiness seems to have leapt off the charts, it’s a case of the psycho horny bitch. Have you ever shown up at the bar to find the girl you’ve been hooking up with glaring at you with her arms crossed? You go up and say hi but she is only giving you short answers. WTF did you do this time and why is she so pissed? If the conversation goes something along the lines of “where have you been?” Yada, yada “I haven’t heard from you in forever!” She’s annoyed that you haven’t been around and so is her clitoris. She’s horny and acting like a toddler who didn’t get her way. Laugh it off, buy her a drink and take her to pound town as soon as you get home. After satisfying her needs, the hostility towards you will evaporate instantly and she will be all smiles with the disposition of a kitten.

She's Distracted
This weekend I encourage you to look around for the girl who is completely unengaged in her friends’ conversation and scanning the crowd feverishly. Girl is down to get down. Make eye contact long enough to see if she is interested. She will either keep looking around if she’s not into it or look in your direction a little longer than necessary before smiling and looking away. Or if she’s outgoing, she won’t look away but instead undress you with her eyes. Either way that’s your cue to make an entrance. This girl could care less about what her friend is gabbing about because she is there to meet a guy. When you make your approach, she will probably be more open and flirtatious than her girlfriends who are still engrossed in their gossip. If she would rather make small talk with you than be in that circle of gossip with her girlfriends, that's a big sign that something else is on her mind.

She’s Giving the Right Compliments
If she's complimenting you, that's definitely a good sign. If her compliments have to do with your looks or physical features, that's an even better sign. If she says she likes your tie or shirt, she is giving you a platonic, polite compliment. If she says she likes how you fill out your shirt, she’s horny. Compliments on your clothing choices don’t matter. Compliments on your physical attributes, arms, chest, eyes, smile etc. are gold.

She's hyper-flirtatious
Take note of how she is flirting with you. Girls have two types of flirting. There is the impersonal one which is the standard used on everyone, kind of like going on autopilot. Smile, flip hair, introduce herself, laugh at the guy’s joke (even if it isn’t especially funny) and then excuse herself saying she will be right back. She won’t be. She wasn’t into it. However, personal flirting takes a bit more devotion, time and energy. She will not be looking around at all anymore; in fact all of her attention will be on you. She will actually be listening to what you’re saying and laughing with you in hopes that you make a move. Or if she is more outgoing, she may make the move for you. If you’ve been chatting with her for a while and keeping her vodka sodas flowing, she may be draping herself over you and getting really touchy feely.  If she’s touching your shoulders, chest and arms she wants to be touching the D. It might be time to close your tab and get her to a bed, stat.

Bonus Clues:
Every girl has her own little quirks that let you know she’s horny. Some examples include blushing, biting her lip, playing with her hair or running her fingers over her neck and décolleté. It’s the little things that she unconsciously does that clue you in. These vary from girl to girl but once you know how to spot them it makes targeting a lot easier. No more wasting time on girls who think it was “really nice to meet you” and would like you to call them sometime.  Just like in business, you want to make sure you're targeting the right customer and executing your seduction skills as efficiently as possible. Get to work gentlemen.

Xo, McKenzie