It's 11:30 pm and you just got a text from that girl you met at the undie run a while back saying she's in town at the local dive bar. Obviously you're too busy doing cool shit to respond right away (or at least you pretend to be), and you wait for the right amount of time to pass before you respond. You get there around midnight and the place is packed. Like, a solid two-and-a-half minutes of, "excuse me," or, "move over, you fuck" before you get from the bouncer to her spot at the bar, packed.
Now comes the hard part: getting your drink -- but with 50 other cabbages trying to do the same thing, that has become a somewhat impossible feat.
To make sure the drinks keep flowing and you don’t look like a fuck that can’t get his shit together, keep in mind the following:
Maintain Eye Contact
Few people can ignore someone making direct eye contact with them. That takes a certain kind of talent, or "zero fucks given," mentality. The bar tender cannot help but realize you are present and will be forced out of primal social instincts to engage you.
Not a single bar tender isn’t aware of how much gratuity you've been giving. Whether or not they deserve your generosity is beside the point. You need to stick out, and what better way than to drop an extra dollar or two. The books on dining etiquette state a bar tender should receive anywhere from 10% to 15% of your drink bill. Go for the latter. Better yet, why not 20? She will surely appreciate it and will more than likely be attentive to your future needs.
Now this one is definitely predicated on gender but I trust you can make the right judgment call here. This can go against you if overdone, but there's nothing like a little, "busy night, huh?" to break the ice. Bar tenders seem busier than they are. They can engage in conversation while getting other patrons their drinks and quite often enjoy a real conversation that isn't just an order being barked by an aggressive drunk. They'll keep coming back to you after serving other drinks to continue the conversation which means more alcohol whenever you need it, or even better: free shots. Maybe even a phone number. This will also make that girl you went to meet a little jealous, which everyone knows can only ever be a good thing.
[<a data-cke-saved-href="http://<a href=" href="http://<a href=" http:="" www.shutterstock.com="" gallery-166459p1.html?cr="00&pl=edit-00">Sergei" bachlakov<="" a>="" <a="" >shutterstock.com<="" a>"="">Bar image via ShutterStock]