Watch this drugged up girl freak out because she swears she doesn't ha...
Arousing Facts About Female Masturbation

5 Great George Carlin Jokes Every Human Being Should Know

By / 06.22.14


Six years ago today — June 22nd, 2008 — comedy legend George Carlin died at the age of 71. Perhaps one of the most iconic comedians of the 21st Century, Carlin’s influence continues to be pretty much everywhere, leaving behind a vivid legacy of thought-provoking comedy bits.

As a tribute to the comedy legend, I’ve compiled five of my favorite George Carlin bits that every literate human being should know, including his famous rants on linguistic obscenity, football and baseball, and why men are stupid and why women are crazy. It’s just too damn bad the Mister Conductor of Shining Time Station isn’t still around to comment on just how messed up the world has become.


RIP, Carlin. Hopefully you’re chillin’ with Mitch Hedberg, Phil Hartman, Patrice O’Neal, Chris Farley,  Hunter S. Thompson, and all the other dead, honest funny guys who are needed on earth to keep us all sane.

Men are stupid and women are crazy: 

Also, if you aren’t familiar with his famous bit on rights vs. privileges. Considering how batshit discourse in this country has gotten thanks to social media, I think we all could use a little George Carlin in our lives to mellow everyone the fuck out:

And in case you’ve never heard it, the Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television:

Baseball vs. Football: 

Religion is bullshit:

On life ending:



I could find scores and scores and scores of other notable quotes of George Carlin wisdom, but here are a few of the most thought-provoking ones:

484798_527021483997579_884235941_n carlin-kill carlin-virginity george_carlin_death george-carlin-people George-Carlin-quote-fighting George-Carlin-quote-flamethrower George-Carlin-quote-shortest-sentence George-Carlin-Quotes-and-Sayings-best-wise rgaasdga wise-quotes-from-george-carlin-7

TAGSGeorge Carlinmen vs. womenStand-up comedy
Brandon Wenerd
About Brandon Wenerd... Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips:

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.


Join The Discussion

Comments are closed.

Sign Up