The Gentlemen’s Rant: Breakups
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GDI Bangs Chick While Her ‘Frat Star’ Boyfriend Is In the Next Room, Plus Other People Living in Sin

By / 11.05.12

That is literally the only photo I could find that comes even close to depicting the title of this post. So, like, no offense and shit to the first guy. 

I decided not to join a frat and take the GDI route. Anyways, my roommates and I decided to throw a party at our place. We wanted it to be huge so we texted/invited all the girls that we had in our contacts (even the ratchet ones) and the bro's we were cool with.

Of course we had a lot of booze, Karkov Vodka (Indiana University's finest) and 4 or 5 kegs. Having had a rough week, I started pounding shots before anyone even got there. Needless to say, I was blasted by the time everyone showed up. There was pussy everywhere, and being to the point of blacked out, I was trying to hit on every good-looking girl I could find. Finally,  I introduced myself to this Hawaiian girl named Lilo. She didn't have the biggest tits, but I'm an ass guy anyways and she was a ten in my book.

We started talking and getting to know each other (all the bullshit pretty much). This girl was cool as fuck until this dude walked up introducing himself as her boyfriend. Just by the way this dude dressed and the way he introduced himself, you could tell he was a complete tool. He had his hair slicked back, his Sperry boat shoes, and of course his polo hat with his button up. We casually shook hands, but that was the end of it.

Towards the end of the party I saw Lilo and her boyfriend waiting for the bathroom (which happens to be right next to my room). I walked by and continued into my room to light up a joint I rolled earlier. As I began to light it, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it thinking it was someone trying to bum a couple hits or something but it ended up being Lilo (her boyfriend was in the bathroom). She asked to put her belongings in my room and of course I let her.

She came in and I resumed what I was doing. Once she saw the joint, though, she made herself at home right next to me on the couch. We locked the door and toked up as she was getting numerous texts and calls from her boyfriend asking her where she was. She just laughed about it and thought it was funny. Somewhere in the middle of the smoke session, she found her way on top of me, straddling me, and making out. Then the clothes came off and finally the underwear. We went at it for a good hour, switching up positions. This girl was very flexible and was pretty much doing the splits on my dick. It ended with a nice blowjob and me blowing my load all over her face. She then cleaned up, and put her clothes back on. When it was over, she went to go give me a kiss before she walked out, but I had to stop her (You just don't kiss girls after they’ve been slobbering on your meat). She understood though and went to go find her boyfriend.

The next day I walked into one of my lectures with one of my friends. We sat down waiting for the teacher to begin. My friend Paige then tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to a coat this dude was wearing. Sure enough, the Frat Star boyfriend was sitting in my same lecture class in a winter coat with animal fur. I say Hi every time I see him, but have to make it quick before I start to laugh about the night I was fucking this dude’s girlfriend while he was in the next room.

Pretty much to sum it all up, College is great.

It certainly is. And I miss it with the fire of a thousand dick sores. Not that I know what that feels like or anything.

So to start this off I am a college student at Lyndon State and will be keeping my name anonymous simply because of my heartless acts towards women in the 24 hours I will inform you about. 

It all started on a thirsty Thursday, I had plans with a previous slam piece that I was simply not that thrilled about, I broke the plans because I decided I'd rather find a new bid to slay and I had one in mind… or two…

It started as any other night, music, drinking, shitty vodka costing no more than $10, etc. This new girl — that I had my eye on since the first day at school — came over and hangout with me and my Bros. Me, being my drunk self, decides to inform her that I invited her over for sex and that I WILL NOT call her back in the morning, she is obviously repulsed by this saying things like “I will never sleep with a guy like you” and “I'm hard to get”…. WRONG… I’ll skip a few hours and cut to the chase.

Were all drunk as most college students are on a Thursday night but this bitch was beyond gone and fell asleep in my bed. I decided my night was still young and while she slept I decided to start a conversation over Facebook with a girl that went to the high school next to mine, and is currently at the same college as me. Mind you I have not spoken with this girl in 6 years… I use the casual line “I'd love to catch up” (It's 3:00 AM and in retrospect, she must have known exactly what I wanted). She took the bait.

I go over to this girl’s room while the previous girl is dead asleep in my room. I proceed to talk for a quick five minutes which swiftly turns into extremely rough and drunk sex. After the sex, I decide that I have to leave and get back to my other “obligation.”

Somehow, by the grace of a higher power this girl in my room has NO IDEA I've been gone for close to 2 hours now. In fact, she doesn't even wake up as I stumble into my room and into bed with her. I make sure rub on her as she slowly wakes up and rolls over to me giving me a kiss in the process. Round 2 is certainly in the making. I begin by rubbing her downstairs and she loves it. But wait, I hear a menacing sound. The girl I blew off from earlier the night before is calling me and sending me text messages at 5 a.m. looking for sex. I quickly recover with “Why is my mom calling? I’ll talk to her later”

It was a close call but I managed to get through it. We have sex and conveniently she has to get up for class and go. I have yet to sleep, so I decided to just keep it up and start drinking… again. I am still drunk, sleepless and looking for more of a reason for girls to hate me. I decided to give it a shot. I set up a “meeting” with girl number 3 at 1 p.m. My only class Friday was less-than-enjoyable as I barely scrape through without alarming anyone that my fingers, penis and everything protruding from my body REEKS of vagina. One of those “I can’t ever bring a drink to my face without smelling and reminding myself of my unholy actions” smells.

One o'clock nears and I continue my drinking rampage. She comes over, I undress her and reach the holy land: three girls in less than 24 hours.

As a side note, the next day would bring its own challenges as well. But that's another story, involving sex with a girl who, unbeknownst to anyone, is extremely close to death as her kidneys fail with no warning, me waking up outside wrapped in sheets, smoking a cigarette, piss drunk at 4 a.m. in the morning and naked.

Kind of a toss up as to which guy in the last two stories loves college more. I have to think it's Bro #2.

This night happened about six months ago, with my (now ex, and current hook up, but that's a different story) girlfriend. I went up to her place after classes one night (yes, I dated sort of long distance in college. Not my brightest move, but hey, she was hot and crazy in bed), and we started drinking a little bit. A few drinks in, her friend calls and asks if she can come over. Now I should stop and say that I’ve never met this friend, but I've heard enough about her to know that she's bisexual, and seen enough pictures to know that she is HOT. Like, a solid 9.5. So of course I'm fine with this girl coming over.

Anyway, she gets there, starts throwing back drinks to catch up with me and my girl, and starts getting really handsy with my girlfriend. At this point I was truly hammered, so I couldn't care less. They made up some excuse to go to the bathroom, and disappeared for a couple of minutes.

My girlfriend opens the door and tells me to bring something over, then pulls me in with them and they start kissing me and rubbing their hands all over me. A couple minutes later, we head into the bedroom and start going at it. All three of us were pretty drunk so things started to get a little wild. The parts that I do remember were amazing though. I ended up fucking them both, taking turns, doing one while she was going down on the other, you name it, we probably did it. Champs that they were, they let me blow all over their faces when I couldn’t hold back any longer.

So far it’s the only threesome I’ve had, but I’m working on getting another girl into bed with this girl sometime soon, because that was one hell of a night.

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TAGSfrat starsgdi
J. Camm
About J. Camm... J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

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