A. Even at an SEC school, I don't think there's that much of a jump between having a black friend and encouraging him to join your predominantly white fraternity. In fact, one of my best friends in college, and in my fraternity, was black. No one seemed to mind it — it's the 21st century, not the pre-Civil Rights Deep South. Today I think it all depends on how the person fits in. Black or white, joining a fraternity should be dependent upon whether or not you belong (or don't belong) with a certain group of personalities.
As for the difference between white and black fraternities, I would have to say they are extremely different, and in most schools, they don't even operate in the same community. I honestly couldn't tell you what those differences are, other than white fraternities don't generally do organized step-dances, brand themselves like cattle, or find any delight in a Tyler Perry production. That said, both white and black fraternities are founded on the same sense of brotherhood… and desire to party.
Q. I go to a Christian college. Christian in the sense of no frats, no on-campus drinking, very little drug scene, open house hours (scheduled time in which we can be on the opposite sex's dorm floors), strict enforcement against drinking, no football team (due to the administration not wanting “those kinds of people,”) and pretty conservative, Bible-humping students. How bad did I f*ck up and how much of the college experience am I missing out on?
Financially, it's a pretty good deal especially seeing as my family's budget is kinda tight. But still, I want the standard college experience even if it does come with a pretty big price tag. So please, be brutally honest.
A. If I'm being honest here, I genuinely don't know whether I want to pity you, resent you, or physically harm you. Yes, your college does sound like misery in its finest form, and I sort of feel bad that you are there surrounded by droves of Jesus freaks, but did you not visit this nightmare before you decided to go there? Or at least ask one other rational, atheist human being if you were making the worst decision possible?
Look, college isn't supposed to be all fun and games. Some aspects — like class, finals, pledging, and girls' mouths — are meant to suck. But everything else should be a f*cking alcohol-riddled pleasure cruise. There is no reason to endure this for four years, when you can transfer. If money is an issue get a loan, scholarship, or financial aid, or look at in-state schools. And next time, do some f*cking due diligence.
Q. Here's my thing: when I get home from talking to a broad, and by talking I mean mumbling and buying her dollar shots… I tend to like to shower down before hosing her down. Is this normal? I like fresh ball heading into the bedroom.
A. I like your style. It's (dare I say) respectful. It's nice that you are mindful of others, especially if you desire multiple trysts with a broad or see it going somewhere permanent. You never want to turn off chicks that you like. But if you don't see the chick as a potential free-agent signing and she is definitely going from straight from the defile to the trash pile, than save your soap and go by the old adage, “If she don't smell it, I don't smell it.” And by “it” I mean, a days worth of built-up cock stank.
Q. More pinnies? More styles?
A.. I'm told they're on their way. Sit tight.
Q. Can a chick who I nailed on the first night be dated? I've continued seeing her and she's real good to me, makes me food, and never pushes anything on me. I don't think she's a keeper cause I nailed her on the first date. Am I crazy?
A. Yes, you are crazy. Even the best broads dabble in sl*ttery these days. You've kept seeing her so she must be both hot and sane enough to date, right? Just chalk up her lapse in morals on the first night to you being a f*cking diabolical stud. Keep her around if you like her and if she ever does do anything to prove your prior concerns right, you can always say, “Since day f*cking one I knew your were a worthless hoe.” And then you can pull up this article to prove it to her.
Q. I got into a relationship with this girl that I've been friends with for a while hoping to have a little fun and not regret never hooking up with her. The trouble is she doesn't put out. I like her, but I think I have other opportunities and I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm worried about dumping her because I don't want to create a rift with my friends, especially with half a year left. What should I do?
A. Your dick is never going to suck or f*ck itself. Interpret that however you'd like because it's all that really needs to be said.