Strangely enough, fortune cookies aren’t even a thing in China, they are an American thing with a shady origin story. Various immigrant groups claim to have brought the cookies to America and they started popping up in restaurants around in the early 1900s. It was probably a tool to tell fat Americans to get the hell up and leave because there are people waiting for their table.
The fortunes inside the cookie have taken an odd turn over the last few years. What were once wise old sayings, bold proclamations and clever words of encouragement against the daily drudgery of life are now, well, they are kind of just dickish statements. It’s as if the cookies are now being copywritten by internet commentors.
Here are eighteen examples of fortune cookies screwing with people.