Life
by J. Camm on October 31, 2012

So I recently returned from a nine-day cruise in the Mediterranean, on which everyone present had purchased a free-drinks pass. Needless to say, there were some shenanigans. This particular story is from the last night of the cruise, when people decided to go harder than ever before. Here goes.

Before I met either of these girls for the night, there were pre-dinner drinks, dinner drinks, and after dinner drinks, and everyone was getting friendly. This, being a very long cruise, I had already located a suitable fuck-buddy, lets call her L, one of a group of four sexy Spanish girlfriends, all nurses at the same hospital. When I found her after dinner I was suitably sauced, and we quickly went back to my cabin. I've never experienced anything like this girl before, this girl was an absolute fountain, I'd say three to four squirting orgasms per hour. So we fuck for the fourth time on the trip, and she leaves me asleep in a bed soaked in her female ejaculate. I probably sleep for twenty minutes before one of my roommates busts in the room wasted, shakes me awake, and forces me to put clothes on and come upstairs to the bar. This was probably around midnight.

I get upstairs, and my friends have started a raucous throw-down, ordering 20 shots at a time until the bar ran out of real shot glasses and just started pouring a finger's worth in a regular glass. I'd sobered up somewhat from my nap, but these shots got me going again. In the middle of this madness, the four girls started taking pictures, and I found myself dancing with L's best friend, let's call her “C”. My memory is hazy on the specifics of our interactions at the bar, but I eventually found myself leading her back to the same wet bed I'd left about thirty minutes before. (According to my friends, L was not pleased with this, though not enough to stop us.)

Anyway, I found myself back in the bed with a new, somehow hotter girl, who just kept yelling the dirtiest things she could think of in English, which ended up being hilarious because of her accent. What might have been normal sex-talk fare became “Fook me weeth your deek” and so on. This being my second round for the night and me being pretty far into my cups, I lasted abnormally long. Long enough, in fact, for one of my friends to come back down to my room, or rather, be escorted back to my room.

At some point before this C and I had switched beds, which ended up being very lucky. So I get a knock on my door, mid-coitus, curse, dismount, and walk to the door. I open it, and there's my friend, silly-ass man he is, laughing and slamming himself into walls while a security guard tries to hold him, talk to me, and keep a straight face. “He ees totally drunk,” Then he looks down at my dick, proudly standing tall with the condom still on. As he shakes his head laughing, my friend breaks free and rushes me, grinning a huge bastard grin, and pushes past me. As I said before, it was lucky we switched beds, because the first thing my friend did was roar and cannonball onto my bed, the slats of which promptly snapped under his weight. He then climbed from the wreckage of my bed, fell in the space between the two beds, and passed out.

“I am forty years old and I have never seen anyting like dees in my life,” said the guard. We had a good laugh, then I closed the door, and returned to C. We continued having sex on the bed while my friend snored on the floor.

The next day, I woke up exhausted, yet very satisfied.

Squirters fascinate the ever-loving shit out ot me. NEXT!

Going way back to my college days, one story sticks out to me more than any…mostly because it was one of the few that I remembered. For whatever reason, all the stars aligned this night and I managed to pull off a feat that previously I thought only existed in mediocre porn magazines.

It was a Friday night in the beginning of Fall semester and the fraternity I was in had a mixer with our sister sorority at the time. The theme of the party was something stupid but the whole purpose was the same as any other fraternity party. Drinks were had by all and before we knew it, the whole party ended up becoming a sloppy sweaty dance party in the basement of our house. One thing led to another and I made my way up to my room with one of the girls in the sorority. I had hooked up with her a few times previously in the year but nothing serious. We were both pretty liquored up but we made the good deed happen.

After we finished, she almost immediately fell asleep in my bed. I had heard my phone buzzing a few times during sex but being the gentleman I am I let it go to voicemail. Once I checked the phone after I realized that another girl in her sorority was texting me trying to figure out where I went. This is where the story gets interesting. Apparently it was girl B's birthday and she had been quoted as saying to other brothers in our house that “it was her birthday, and she needed birthday sex.”  Although she came off as desperate, I knew the opportunity for a tremendous story was unfolding in front of my face and being the bro I was at the time, I couldn't let it slip away.

 

Now came the tricky part. How do I slip out of bed with girl A, put all my clothes back on, and get back in action for girl B? Also, where was I going to make it happen? My bed was obviously out of commission since girl A was just now entering her first REM cycle. Going back to her dorm room? Absolutely not.  I needed to think of something fast. Seeing as it was now the end of the night most of the other brothers rooms were already accompanied and the girl made it very clear she was not interested in getting busy in a common room.

Luckily, at the last second the guy across the hall walked out of his room to go stay with his girlfriend in her apartment. Also, he was just as much of an advocate for me getting with girl B as I was so he volunteered his couch for our actions, on the pretense that I wouldn't make any love stains (out of good conscience I couldn't give him that).

Once the coast was finally clear and the room was ours, I successfully taken down my second girl from the sorority in the past two hours, 20 feet from each other. The only thing left to do was go to sleep, in my own bed, with girl A. I still feel bad that I left girl B in my buddy's room naked on the couch to sleep alone but I had practice the next morning and I needed a good night's sleep. And maybe a good dose of morning sex.

Submit your Hook Up Heroes stories here.

J. Camm

About J. Camm...

J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

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