Everyone knows it's not summer without a quality noodle fight. But this old dude takes it to another level. Karl Ludwig Eichner, 68, got upset about a "head-shaped" watermelon that a lady threw into the ocean. He seems to have had a Wilson-like affinity for the rotten watermelon, attacked her with his swim noodle, punched her in the face, and ended up behind bars. The least shocking thing about the whole ordeal is that it happened in Florida. This is exactly the type of antics we expect from that phallus-shaped state. Police report below, via Naplesnews.com:
A woman who was at the beach with a friend observed a rotting watermelon that had been carved and shaped into a head sitting on the sand. The watermelon seemed to have been abandoned so she placed it in the ocean in hopes that it would disintegrate and not attract any bugs.
Eichner retrieved the watermelon from the ocean and placed it back on the beach. The woman placed the watermelon in the ocean once again.
Eichner approached the woman with his swim noodle full of water and dumped the water on her as she was sitting on her towel. He then punched her in the cheek.