Former FBI agent Scott Bowman was indicted today on charges of being a baller.
The technical terms used in the Justice Department indictment were “three counts of conversion of property by a federal employee, three counts of obstruction of justice, two counts of money laundering, one count of falsification of records and one count of witness tampering.”
They had to use terms like that, because the federal government can’t send someone to prison on account of being awesome.
Bowman worked the drug beat for the FBI, and is accused of taking over $100,000 in cash from busts he made in 2014 and spending it lavishly on himself and his wife.
The indictment alleges that Bowman used the stolen money for his own purposes, including spending $43,850 in cash to purchase a 2012 Dodge Challenger coupe, $27,500 in cash to purchase a 2013 Toyota Scion FR-S coupe and approximately $26,612 in cash to outfit these vehicles with new equipment including speakers, rims and tires. According to the allegations in the indictment, the defendant also used approximately $15,000 of the misappropriated cash to pay for cosmetic surgery for his spouse, and opened a checking account into which he deposited approximately $10,665 of the stolen funds, a portion of which he used to pay for a weekend stay at a luxury hotel, casino and resort in Las Vegas, Nevada.
The indictment doesn’t state exactly what kind of plastic surgery he spent $15,000 on for his wife, but let’s use our brains here, Bros.
A dude who works in law enforcement who tricks out his cars and parties in Vegas is the kind of guy who buys his wife new tits.
Don’t need to be a special prosecutor to prove that truth.
[H/T Mike Hayes]