Nebraska Sends Moving Message of Support to Superfan Jack Hoffman
Bill Cosby talking about sex at age 77 is inappropriately hilarious

Knowing That Farrah Abraham Makes $544,000 Being A Stripper Makes Me Want To Set Things On Fire

By / 08.20.14

Farrah-Abraham

Just to put this into perspective, here’s a short list of things that cost $500,000, which is $44,000 LESS than what Farrah’s making frolicking around a pole like a half-witted turd made of pixie dust:

1. A ticket to Mars
2. Six Model S Tesla cars with all the fancy fixin’s
3. 500,000 McDoubles off of the McDick’s dollar menu

Life isn’t fair.

“…Abraham claims she inked a $544,000 deal to dance as part of the club’s Celebrity House Feature, which kicks off Aug. 22, according to RadarOnline.com. Customers who want to watch the 23-year-old perform will have to fork over $2,500 for an hour or $500 for 10 minutes.
‘It benefits everybody,’ BeBe Montgomery, manager of Palazio, told Radar. ‘It’s really fun … I hired Farrah as a waitress about a month ago and then we talked about it. She decided to switch to dancing. And then we talked again and came to an agreement for six figures. We’re really happy and excited.’”

Via Huffington Post

Who in ever-loving-fuck would be willing to pay $2,500 for a lap dance from Farrah? Using that money as toilet paper would be a more productive way to use it, along with setting it on fire, eating it, burying it in your yard underneath a giant slab of cement…the possibilities are endless.

But Farrah here is smart (bigger lies have never been spoken), so she’s planning on investing the money into her frozen yogurt business.

“‘I’m thankful and can use this to expand [my frozen yogurt shop] Froco’s second location!’ Abraham said. ‘I’m super excited!’”

Via Radar Online

Yes. Because everyone’s going to lining up and down the block to eat frozen yogurt from a place where this horrifying “thing” straight out of my childhood nightmares is the mascot:

Froco_Fresh_Frozen_special_days-490x494

Who goes to a froyo place to “keep it weird” (is she expecting everyone there to be tripping on Acid on Wednesdays or something) or listen to live music? Newsflash: NO ONE. People get froyo as an excuse to get “healthy” ice cream, except then they barf fucking chocolate syrup and candy all over it so it’s basically the same as eating regular fat-fuck ice cream. Yeah…I’m gonna have to pass on that one. Kthxbi.

[H/T Huffington Post and Radar Online]


TAGSFarrah Abraham
Rebecca Martinson
About Rebecca Martinson... Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

MORE STORIES FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.

Sign Up