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Bro Fakes His Own Kidnapping To Stay Out All Night And Party

By / 08.25.14

kidnapped

“This night is going to be legend-arrrryyyy. But first let me text my girl and tell her I’ve been kidnapped. Don’t go to Denny’s without me!”

A 32-year-old man from Manchester did not want to leave what must have been an epic house party. So instead of just adjusting his nut sack and telling his girl he’d be out all night, the bro devised the dumbest idea since the vodka power hour — he told her he was kidnapped.

Detective Inspector Jo Clawson said it was “without doubt one of the most foolish and irresponsible incidents I have been involved in” and the cops see a ton of dumb shit. The man texted his girl and said his kidnapper wouldn’t set him free until he paid a debt of £50 (that’s $82 American). His girl freaked, called the cops, and the man-hunt was on.

The cops followed a number of leads, and actually arrested a guy on suspicion of kidnapping, but the dude turned in his buddy immediately and admitted the entire kidnapping was a lie. The cops eventually found the guy around 1:30am at a house party.

In the end, the moron ended up getting off easy — he’s no being charged with any crimes because officers decided “not to waste more police resources and public money by putting him through the court system.”

Is a party ever worth all of this? Eh, probably.

H/T Talk Talk


TAGSBachelor partyKidnapping
Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

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