Bill Murray Knows It's Secrets
Bill Murray is one of the baddest dudes on the planet. He has brought us hilarity for decades. He's kicked it with Hunter S. Thompson. He was a damn Ghostbuster! Bill has such a respect for tequila that in 2010 he was bartending along side Rza and Gza from the Wu Tang Clan and no matter what drink patrons ordered… Bill hooked them up with shots of tequila!
It Can Be Turned Into Diamonds
That magical treat tequila is a true wonder of the world. As it infiltrates your brain and makes you do things like T-bag strangers on the street, it bestows it's own unique buzz. It is so precious that scientists actually figured out a way to turn tequila into diamonds! This has brought us to a new understanding of how to scientifically bling out your liver!!
Jet Powered Cars Can Run on It
I don't know about you, but every time I drink tequila–I get a boost of energy. This energy allows me to do things like climb buildings shirtless, jump on the back of a moving vehicle and all sorts of other wackiness. It all makes sense now, because Chrysler once made a jet powered car called the Turbine. This vehicle could run on all kinds of different fuels and the Mexican President proved it could also run on tequila!
Good Tequila Doesn't Come Cheap
In all it's majesty and wonder, there is absolutely no way such a harbinger of awesome could be cheap! Top shelf tequila can set you back as much as $80 per shot at a decent establishment, but if you really wanna get your balls out of your purse, you can purchase a $1.5 million diamond encrusted bottle of Tequila Ley!
It Takes 12 Years To Make
The process to make tequila is almost as magical as the effects it has on my time at a strip club. Blue Agave is grown for 12 years and harvested when they are 7 feet tall! Which once again lends credibility to the whole “good things take time” theory. Tequila has to grow up big and strong before it will take you to new heights. And by new heights, I mean passing out ON TOP of a city bus.
It Gives Scientists A Reason To Get Fish Drunk
The world of science is constantly trying to give us a better understanding of our universe. Breakthroughs and miraculous discoveries happen every day. Sometimes the things science studies are less than mindblowing. Like the time scientists got a bunch of fish drunk on tequila and then got them drunk on rum to see if they affected aggressiveness. Oh, Science… you funny!
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