This Guy Found Out His Ex-Girlfriend Was Pregnant Via Tinder And WOW Will You Never Dodge A Bullet That Big

Babies suck. They’re loud, dirty, need constant attention and if you drop them there’s a chance they’ll grow up to be stupid incompetent adults. I can drop my iPhone onto concrete and it works just fine afterwards, but nooo babies can’t handle that sort of impact. Stupid babies, being all fragile and useless. Be glad you don’t have one.

You know who else is happy they don’t have a baby? Redditor Toasty_Jones, who only knows that his ex-girlfriend popped out a screaming fetus because he found her on Tinder and her profile was all “Yo baby in tha HOUSE up in hurr.” Ew. If you’re looking to get 0 matches for the rest of your life, that’s one way to go about it.

As for whether or not the kid is HIS kid, judging from the comments it looks like he is NOT THE FATHER.

Lucky bastard.

[H/T Reddit]