Life
by Tolly Taylor on December 11, 2013

#10. Age 23.

You’re done with college, and you thought you were ready to be. Here’s what you find out in your first full year out: meeting women is harder, friends move away, work-work is harder than school work, work-work is harder than summer internships, and your new gym isn’t free. Also, keg stands are over. It’s the biggest bummer.

#9. Age 20.

The Robin to 21’s Batman. And nobody likes Robin. Undoubtedly, you have friends who are already 21, and if you don’t have a fake I.D., you end up feeling like this kid in A Christmas Story– you can’t do anything you wanna do. If there were a bro equivalent to “Not a girl, not yet a woman,” this would be it. And doesn’t that sound awful.

#8. Age 28.

Why the effing eff is everyone getting married? This is the year many replace the title bro with husband, and if you’re not one of them, well, sucks to suck. 28 is cooler than 23 and 20 though, thanks to your 10-year high school reunion. If all goes extremely well, 28 could look something like this.

#7. Age 26.

You’re likely in your second or third job but still unsure if you found what you want to do, you’re over halfway done with your 20s, and you’re officially too old to date college girls. Oh, and if you’re still on it, your parents health insurance won’t cover you much longer. Meh.

#6. Age 29.

This one gets a slight bump ahead of 28 because it’s the year you do bucket list stuff before you turn 30. Planning to settle down and have kids? Now’s when you go skydiving. Haven’t partied until sunrise in a while? At 29, the world’s still your oyster, damn it. Negatives include: almost being 30 (…NOT! You’re a bro; it doesn’t matter for you) and contemplating one last career change.

#5. Age 22.

Eh. This one’s half awesome-end-of-college parties, half welcome-to-the-real-world bitch slap. Your first job out may (read: will) suck a bag of dicks, but everything’s new and fresh, so it’s still exciting.

#4. Age 25.

You can grow a for-real beard, and participate in the office No Shave November with pride. Life is good. You’ve settled into working life, but it hasn’t gotten old yet. You have plenty of friends and have even experimented with potluck dinners. They intrigue you.

#3. Age 21.

This is your year to “make it rain,” as it were. You’re 21, meaning you’re finally Batman. That weight of sneaking around and worrying about getting caught is gonzo, replaced instead by bottles of vodka in each hand. It’s awesome. The one thing cramping your style? You’ve almost definitely built up being 21 too much, meaning it can underwhelm initially before settling into your newfound powers.

#2. Age 27.

Comfy life, comfy couch, comfy bed. Plenty of friends. You’re happy. Potlucks with friends no longer intrigue you – they’re your jam. You’re still firmly in your mid-20s, and life is good. It’s your best groove year.

#1. Age 24.

You’re at the height of your powers. Work’s in the bag – you’ve even figured out how to leave 30 minutes early on Friday – and partying’s at its best. On Fridays, you thrive on menus of apartment pre-games, favorite bars, and badass clubs. On Saturdays, you repeat. Sunday, if you so choose, you can still go out and dominate pick-up games of football. You have one message for the world: bring it on.

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