No one likes it when their friends get wifed up and then proceed to ignore you for the rest of the relationship. It’s kind of like being adopted by a really nice family and then find out that you’re actually going to be living in the port-o-potty located in the back yard. Sure you’re still part of the family, but no one really gives a shit about you because you live in a port-o-potty. Go away you feces-lathered bastard, I showered this morning and don’t want your filth anywhere near me.
If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, that comparison was either really stupid (check!) or you’re a dirty filthy fuckin’ liar. Hopefully this Bro’s Tinder bio will jog all the memories you’ve spent years trying to repress and turn the numerous therapy sessions your parents blew $200 an hour on into a complete waste of time. Huzzah!
[H/T Reddit]