Eat Some Fiber While Reading About This Woman Who Reportedly Knifed Her Husband Because His Poop Smells Awful

I typically don’t condone violence, but when it comes to sour bodily functions I have to make a few exceptions. When my boyfriend farts and I can literally taste it in my mouth I don’t think I should be held accountable for whatever crimes I may or may commit immediately after. Why? Mostly because I force my mind to go to its happy place until the odor dissipates and during that time I’m completely unaware of what’s going on around me. Sure I could just go wait outside or something, but that requires a little thing called “moving” which can also be interpreted as “exercise,” and considering my favorite pastime is sitting on my ass I’m sure we can all agree that’s not gonna happen anytime soon.

In other words, I completely understand where Emi Mamia, 29, was coming from when she reportedly slashed her husband’s face over his nasty shits.

Emi Mamia, 29, slashed her husbands face with a knife after he went to the toilet, according to Japanese press and police.

Mamiya was reportedly incensed by the smell left behind after her 34-year-old partner emerged from the stall.

Her anger was further fuelled when he tried to help their 3-year-old son use the toilet ‘without washing his own hands first’, she said, Jiji Press and other local media reported.

‘The toilet stinks so much that the child cannot even use it,’ Jiji reported her as saying.(Via)

To be fair, Emi shouldn’t have gotten pissed when her husband went to help their 3-year-old without having washed his hands. I mean for all we know the guy doesn’t wipe, which means that all he would’ve touched while taking a dump were the buttons on his pants. I’m about 65% sure my boyfriend doesn’t wipe either because his personal hygiene is beyond repugnant, so slashing him with a knife for touching people? A little uncalled for. But decimating a bathroom stall to the point where no living creature can feasibly venture inside without dying?

Maybe.

[H/T Metro, header image via Shutterstock]