Some Dude Is Suing Ashley Madison For A Dickload Of Money Because The Site Was Just A Cornucopia Of Penises

The whole Ashley Madison debacle may go down as the most entertaining scandal of 2015. There was something so satisfying about 37 million dirtbags, including UN and Vatican staff members, logging onto the cheating website to try to acquire some strange, only to be whacked in the face with robots, dicks, and robot dicks.

37 million users be thirsting after the one chick on the site like…

Obviously, the suicides that followed from outed users were no laughing matter, but every good scandal has its casualties.

And every scandal has its backlash. Usually the delusional ones who can’t admit that they’ve been had and move on with their virtuous lives.

That man is David Poyet. Poyet is attempting to string together a class action lawsuit on the grounds of unfair and fraudulent business practices by the shady site.

Per Death and Taxes Magazine,

David Poyet is suing the company based on the fact that their female users — pretty much all 5.5 million of them — were bots. According to the suit, there were only 12,000 (or 15%) actual women using the site.

How much does Poyet thinks he deserves for being misled by Ashley Madison? 5 MILLION DOLLARS.

Damn, bro. With that kind of money, you won’t need to resort to trying to fuck robots online. Baby steps.

We’ll keep you posted on whether or not this lawsuit materializes.

[h/t Death and Taxes]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.