Watch This Dude Try To Read A Dr. Seuss Book While Using A Speech Jammer To Understand How Floyd Mayweather Must Feel


One Fish..

Two FFFish..

Red FIFFfff…

Boo FFISHSI…..

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I had no fucking idea what a speech jammer was before I watched this video. Once Bumbling Brian gave me the answer, I was hesitant to believe that a device that creates an echo of your voice causes you to become incapable of creating coherent sentences. So, being the information seeker that I am, I decided to investigate further. And being the lazy loser that I am, I looked no further than reddit. User JoeKwanxD submits:

“Speech utilizes a feedback loop. You don’t just think of a sentence and your mouth automatically says it from vocal memory. Your brain is constantly monitoring the sound of your voice in real time to keep it sounding like you want it to. Sort of like walking across a tightrope. You don’t have a memorized sequence of movements needed to cross. Your mind is constantly analyzing your balance and correcting itself. This is why deaf people have difficulty speaking clearly. When you have your voice played back with a delay, your brain confuses what you’re actually saying and what is being played back so that it “corrects” itself based off the delayed sound which then causes the strange sounding speech. So it’s kind of like if you are walking the tightrope but your sense of balance is one second behind. You’re gonna fall off because you need real time feedback.”

Honestly, who the fuck needs textbooks anymore. Brilliant explanation by someone who may or may not live in his mom’s basement. All “teachers” do now is fuck their students anyway. I couldn’t even coerce a handjob out of Ms. Davis in high school.

Regardless, Floyd, the offer still remains. Speech jammer or not.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.