Dude Holding Full Rack Of Ribs Gives The Interview Of The Year After An Apartment Fire


Via the YouTube summary:

Robert Wright approached a KMPH Fox 26 photographer after a fire inside an apartment on Cedar Ave. near Bullard Ave. A woman and her 6-year-old child were hospitalized with smoke inhalation. Mr. Wright told us he is a neighbor, and had to rescue his family while keeping an eye on the ribs he was barbecuing.

Those ribs look absolutely fucking delicious. Perfect actually. Expertly seasoned. I’m not saying I can understand why the dude didn’t seem to give a shit about the woman and child hospitalized after a fire but I can completely understand why the dude didn’t seem to give a shit about the woman and child hospitalized after a fire. You just can’t interrupt and artist with your trivial raging house inferno. It’s impolite. Stop making everything about you and the third degree burns sprawling across your body. For once.

I can’t decide what my favorite part of the video was: Robbie Wright trying to swindle someone for a motel room on live television or his “I didn’t get no injuries and stuff except for the smoke in my lungs, but I already have smoke in my lungs so I’m alright” line. This dude had no intention of stop, drop, and rolling, unless it was a fat blunt. The goddamn voice of a generation.

P.S. This may be insensitive or ignorant of me, but how the fuck do you let a fire rage out of control with you present to prevent it? I’ve never dropped the gloves with a house fire but fuck, it seems to me that it takes a whole other level of carelessness and complacency to let it escalate.

P.P.S. This also may be ignorant of me, but it’s 2015 and we’re still stopping fires with a large water hose? Seems a bit antiquated and inefficient, no? There has to be a better way. A chemical or something. Plus, fire hydrants are just parking space cock blocks.

I’ve obviously never experienced any real problems in my life.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.