Drunkest Dude Alive Pees Himself And Forgets How Legs Work, And You’ll Be Glad You Watched


That’s perseverance, people. Right when you were ready to count him out and watch him bite the pavement, he performs a nifty sidestep with his brand new legs. He even attempts a little jog after he pissed down his leg, probably because walking was getting too easy. You see a pathetic drunk asshole, I see a man not willing to take ‘no’ for an answer. A fighter.

I have sympathy for the dude because this is exactly how I walk after leg day. Minus the whole pissing my pants and falling down in an Enterprise Rent-A-Car parking lot part. Stumble on, playa. Stumble on.

P.S. Props to the narrator for the “he looks like he’s going to trust fall” line. Brilliant.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.