Nothing drains your already sadly low bank account like a night out on the town. Drinking, our favorite past time, has always kept us uncomfortably close to the poverty line. In hopes to help other poor alcoholic Bros, we’ve created a list of ways to avoid paying for that expensive tab at the end of the night.
This is a given, but its importance is sometimes overlooked. If you show up shit-faced at a bar, you will consume approximately half the amount of drinks that you would have gotten if you were relatively sober. Also, if you are shit-faced none of your “more sober” friends will want you to deal with money at the bar, so they will be more inclined to buy you the drink or two that you will need before blacking out.
Whether it’s a friend you already know, or a stranger you met that night, BUDDY UP. Stick by that person for a good part of the night. Every time you approach the bar, stand behind them. Nine times out of ten the friend will just go ahead and get the drinks. Because what are they going to do turn around and ask you to step in front and buy them? Not in this crowded bar they’re not.
Never Have Cash at Cash-Only Bars
Never carry cash! This gets you out of so many money situations. You never have to concern yourself with pitching in for cabs, drugs and alcohol. Next time you’re with your friends suggest a cash-only bar and then regretfully inform them you are out of cash after the first drink is purchased. No one will want to leave you out so they will most definitely supply you with drinks all night. Or, you might get screwed and told to run to an ATM, but hopefully not.
This might require you to be a little more stealth and cautious about your drinking, but it is a surefire way of getting tanked without spending a dollar out at the bar. This goes hand in hand with pregaming. Just consider onsite pregaming or straight up just Gaming!
Join Groups Of People Who Are Out Celebrating
Birthdays, going away parties and other similar events will certainly have people buying the group round of shots or drinks. Tag along! Everyone will just think somebody they know invited you. You’ll fit right in. So grab that shot and give a toast to the birthday girl.
Work Happy Hour
Work events are quintessential to drinking for free. Never ever pass up a work happy hour, Christmas party, or a co-worker’s birthday. Once the company card comes out, it’s time to get your drinking hat on. Take advantage of this. Lord knows that you are way underpaid, so take this as a time to make up for all the wages you are not getting.
Making Friends with People Who Are Blacked Out
They have already reached the point of oblivion. Also, usually people in blackout states are much more generous with letting the drinks flow, so sit back, relax, and let them proceed with trying to make you as drunk as they are.
[Drunk image via ShutterStock]