This sounds like a scene from a South Park episode. On Sunday night Timothy Carr, a transient, entered a Brooksville, Florida (near Tampa) Walmart and proceeded to PAR-TY. He proceeded to take a mobility scooter (insert South Park references here) and get loaded driving it around the store. Spending Super Bowl Sunday drunk, dodging morbidly obese shoppers between shelves of Mountain Lightning?

Via NBC News:

Timothy Carr of Brooksville is facing charges of disorderly intoxication and felony retail theft. Police say Sunday night, just before 9 o'clock, they found Carr inside the Walmart at 7305 Broad Street. Investigators say he was drunk, and driving around the store on a motorized shopping cart. They say he had removed an alcoholic beverage from a shelf, and was drinking it, while knocking other items off the shelves.

I'm surprised he didn't get a DUI, just for the hell of it. But wait, he also stole booze off a shelf and drove around Wal Mart drinking it? That's the most amazing thing ever. Isn't that an open container infraction as well? 

Amazingly, this isn't even the weirdest thing to happen at Walmart. There's no way this guy is sorry for partying.