Drunk Dude Tries To Impress Hottie By Dropkicking A Punching Machine And 100% Went Home Alone


Gotta love this dude giving the ol’ college try to this smoke by trying to showcase his inner Bruce Lee. His drunken, delusional mind thought that if he kicked the shit out of that cheesy bar game, he was a shoe-in for getting laid. May have dropped trou right there. But there has never been a scenario on planet earth where a girl has sat down to brunch with her friends the morning after hooking up with a dude and was like “I knew I wanted to sit on his face after he dropkicked that punching machine. Mmmm, I’ve never seen someone dropkick an inanimate object in a smelly dive bar quite like him. He’s a keeper, Cheryl.” But I can’t really hate on the dude for being a try hard with the end game of getting laid in mind. Lord knows that sometimes I play fast and loose with my integrity when it comes to women. I once told a girl I volunteered at an animal shelter and when she started pressing me on the specific shelter and my role there, I had to play it off like I was joking the whole time. She was “seeing someone” anyway. Lying about how good of a dude I was probably played no role in her telling me that either. Zero.

You know the old saying: ‘Fall down seven, stay down bro. Sleep it off.’

[H/T LADbible]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.