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Drunk Dad Finds Out The Hard Way His 8-Year-Old Kid is a Terrible Driver

By 02.17.14

Kid Driving Car

We’ve all been too drunk to drive home. That’s why people designate a driver, or if you don’t have any responsible friends, that’s why people have children. Free rides home from the bar for life.

Even if they don’t have a license or pubic hair.

Mikolaj Tomaszewski decided not to call a cab and instead ordered his son Juliusz to cycle to the pub and drive him home. But disaster struck when the schoolboy struggled behind the wheel of the Opel Corsa and he pulled in front of a car coming the other way at a crossing. That sent him careering over the road and into a third car.

“Hello, son? It’s your old man. I’m drunk. I need you to ride your bike to the pub and drive me home. I I DON’T CARE if there is a new episode of Wallykazam on, pedal your ass down here right now!”

Tomaszewski was later arrested for endangering the life of a minor and causing an accident. If convicted, he faces up to five years in jail.

“Hello, son? It’s your old man. I’m in jail. I need you to break me out. I DON’T CARE if..”

[via The Express]

Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.
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