This article was actually requested by a friend of mine, which I know is hard to believe because, haha, who would wanna be friends with me? But his logic behind the question was along the lines of "I'd LOVE to actually do whatever I want, but she doesn't mean it mean it, right?" Or does she?"
What a very astute observation Cake Jummings! And you are completely correct, she doesn't actually want you to do whatever you want. For example, if you suddenly decide in the middle of sex that you want to put on all your clothes and have her watch you play GTAV , she'd probably be pissed. Same with intentionally busting nut in her eye. It may seem like the two are completely different things, but they really aren't since one is actually physically painful and the other involves semen. Just kidding, GTAV is great and I'd watch people steal fighter jets and assault old people on sidewalks all day if I could. She should consider herself lucky, in other words. I tried to give my boyfriend a surprise blowjob the other day and he actually said to me "Can you wait until I finish this mission?" What is my life.
The only girls who actually mean "Hit me with your best shot" are either clinically insane, or you've been dating them for x-amount of time. Ignoring the girlfriend status because, well, y'all mothafuckas be boring (....myself included), believe it or not the world isn't actually widely populated with the weird nymphomaniacs Tucker Max alleges he fucks. Did those stories actually happen? I'll believe it, but do you know how many sloots he had to go through just to be able to write a noteworthy chapter? I can't even count that high, but it's not like that's saying much since I'm an English major.
Assuming you hit some sort of skank jackpot and this poor girl actually has no self respect whatsoever, you can actually do whatever you want. Stick it in her butt, shoot cum up her nose and have her blow it out into a tissue then eat it, have her bathe in a tub full of pastry dough until she farts out the Pillsbury Dough Boy, let your imagination run wild. She's probably not a keeper and there's a 78% chance she'll somehow bottle your semen and try to have your babies, but that's the risk you run when you stick your dick in the female equivalent of the Joker... which I guess would be Harley Quinn. But she's hot, so let's make her fat so it's less appealing. Fat Harley Quinn. Nice.
As for girls that aren't on Prozac or huffing spray paint fumes on a daily basis, there's a line you can cross and a line you can't. For example, titty fucking. If you really really wanna waste your time doing that, go for it. No skin off my back, it just means I get to lay here and quietly think about what I want to eat for breakfast in the morning. Sticking it up the poop chute? No. Don't do that. If it's something that requires some amount of preparation (read: lube) or something you've always wanted to try but haven't done, don't fucking do it. Chances are that you'll be pretty inept and come across as a complete amateur, to which she'll tell her friends "That was the worst sex I've had in my entire life" the next day when they ask how her night was. This is not the time for experiments. If that's the sort of shit you wanna do then go stick your dick in a test tube or something before you put it in a lady. Anything that's a grey area though, like doing some face fucking or an amazon (...not normal one night stand sort of shit), just ask. Yeah maybe it'll kill the mood for the 5 seconds it takes her to decide, but it's better than killing the entire thing outright when she looks at you confused while you try to get into a new position.
If you're thinking to yourself "Well so what? It's a one night stand, I'm never seeing her again" then you're both a grade A douche and asking for punishment. Bad sex lingers. Bad sex is fun to talk about, easy to laugh at, and names are always dropped. The frat guy my roommate went home with who didn't last longer than 10 seconds and then spent the next 5 minutes apologizing? Yeah, we still laugh at him. I see him on campus. I chuckle. Everyone who's heard the story refuses to go home with him because, well, that's a waste of a night. The guy my other friend was blowing and then, without asking, got up and stuck it in her butt? Everyone that's heard the story blows him off whenever he comes up to one of us. That shit sucks. That shit pisses everyone off. And we remember.
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Couple in bed pic via Shutterstock