Life
by Fitz E Fresh on October 3, 2012

Q: So do girls like unsolicited dick pics? What's the deal with that?

A: The funny thing about this question is that less than two weeks ago I would've called you a sick f*ck for asking me such a weird question.

Incidentally, that was one week before I found out what a microdick was, laughed my ass off for two days straight and sent numerous unsolicited dick picks to people at random kin my phone book.
Seriously.

For legal reasons I can't show a picture of said micropenis but you should Google it right now.

Now that you know what I'm talking about, you understand why I sent it to so many unsuspecting recipients.

So. To answer your question in a more straightforward fashion; generally speaking, no- girls absolutely do not like unsolicited dick pics.

HOWEVER, if it meets the criteria of being hilarious, gross, and paramountly, not your own, it could be sort of hilarious. Just know you're not getting laid as a result of it.

Q: So it's just the first month of my freshman year at college, and I'm already pretty involved with this girl that is just an all-around catch, and it is basically like we are dating from the bedroom to the PDA.

The dilemma is that even though I really like her, I'm having that freshman dilemma of wanting to hookup with everything that walks (and I have enough game/looks to score pretty well), but I don't want to lose her for when 6 months from now I want to settle down in a relationship. Do you have any advice?

A: It's tempting to settle down with a good catch, and this is a tough one.

But my truthful advice would be that you gotta play the field or you might regret it. Have your fun and explore your options; and hopefully she won't start dating the guy who blackballs you from his fraternity. And in the meantime…always use a condom.

If she's still around when you're prepared to settle, she's not going to appreciate a fresh STD.

Q: I'm a black bro. I grew up and went to high school in a predominately white area, and now I attend ahistorical black college, and I'm a firm lover of white women. So my bros all go to schools that are within 20 minutes of mine. I've visited them a couple times and had a hell of a time, and that is where I satisfy my need for the white female. Will it make me look bad if I visit them all the time or am I just being paranoid?

A: Greetings, black bro. I certainly can't blame you for craving that white chocolate. And if a few tastes of it just happens to come with the territory of visiting your bros then you're in the clear. If, however, you're blatantly visiting to get your white choc fix, you're on a one-way track to becoming the token out-of-town creeper. In which case you could suck it up and accept the title, or admit yourself to outpatient white chocolate rehab.

Get some.

Q: What is the best way to contact a girl who gave you their number while out at a bar? Should you call or text them?

A: The move, my friend, is as follows. Listen carefully. Text her the afternoon following your serendipitous bar encounter– initiate some basic convo (keep it short and sweet) before suggesting you guys hang out later in the week. If she takes the bait, that's when you let her know to expect your phone call.  “Cool– I'll give you a call Friday.”

Done.

You're exerting your confidence while building the anticipation for what's sure to be a great round deux. Enjoy.

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