I get pitched by PR people (or whoever) to write about at least 5 new smartphone apps per day, all of them promising to blow my fucking mind once I try them. Apps for dating, apps to find bars in your area, apps for fitness — apps on top of apps on top of motherfucking apps. It’s exhausting opening all of them, knowing that the vast majority of them will hit my trash folder without tardiness or delay. But today, when I started to read the pitch email about Disckreet (a skeet, skeet, skeet…) I thought to myself, “Well, this is different. This is something my fellow man needs to know about. This can save lives.”
That is, if it actually works the way it says it does.
What is Disckreet, you ask?
Disckreet is an app that allows a couple to have total control over their sex tape. Meaning, you both have to be on board for it to see the light of day. Hell, you both have to be together to even view the fucking thing. You can drain all the funds out of your joint savings account easier than you can do anything with this sex tape. For instance, if you’re girlfriend/wife cheats on you (let’s make her the villain here) you can’t turn around and do very bad things with that sex tape. You can’t even watch it, and jerk your sorrows away.
Here’s how it works per their email:
Your personal files are safely stored behind two different passcodes, your’s and your partner’s. The files can only be accessed while the two of you are together and both enter your individual codes. So if your partner breaks the trust and tries to share your latest escapade with others, you are safe.
Disckreet stores all your files on your device – nothing gets uploaded anywhere, ever! For even greater peace of mind all your files are encrypted, ensuring ultimate security, even if your smart device is stolen, or hacked. Nobody is ever going to see your files without your approval.
Disckreet builds upon the trust you already have in your relationship by adding another layer of security for both you and your partner. It offers you the freedom to try things that you have always wanted to with complete control and peace of mind.
If you and your current concubine — who you may want to throw to the curb eventually — are in the business of making videos of your carnal passions, Disckreet might not be a bad $.99 investment.