The American Psychiatric Association is updating the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, which is the go-to source for doctors and other professionals when diagnosing patients for mental illness. One of the changes being proposed for next year's edition includes an expansion of symptoms related to drug and alcohol addiction.
For example, if you often drink more than you intend and crave alcohol, you will be considered a mild addict. Under DSM-4, you needed to have more serious symptoms like missing your duties, being arrested or driving while drunk before you were diagnosed as an addict.
So remember all those times you woke up and said you're never drinking again? And those times early in the pregame where you claimed you'd "only have a few beers?" You're clearly an alcoholic. Best you pack up all your sh*t, drop out of school, and do whatever you possibly can to save yourself. No way society could have you like this.
If the proposed changes are implemented, an estimated 40% of college students would be considered alcoholics (cue the resounding "sorry for partying" from every school in the country).
[H/T: OMG Facts]