Life
by David Covucci on November 19, 2013

Which thank heaven, I say. There is nothing worse than going on a blind date, only to have the person across from you say that we shouldn't get the charcuterie plate because the cheese is processed and that means it's not #paleo (I don't actually know if cheese is paleo and I DON'T FUCKING CARE). 

Then, after you scour the menu for the sole gluten-free beer the restaurant has so your date can enjoy something (I don't know if all CrossFitters are gluten-intolerant and I DON'T FUCKING CARE), he or she starts telling you about all the cross-chest kettle snatches they did today (I have no idea if cross-chest kettle snatches are a real CrossFit thing and I DON'T FUCKING CARE).

“I did 17 cross-chest kettle snatches today. When I first started CrossFit, I couldn't even do a single cross-chest kettle snatch.”

DON'T CARE. 

Don't care one bit. But now that XFitDate exists, hopefully all these people will only intermingle with each other, eventually becoming so inbred that they die out.