There’s an understandable pressure all men feel during courtship that causes them to freak out and make bad decisions.
Most of the time it’s a panicked, last minute choice that someone else has convinced you is a good idea. Pretty much always said idea involves dropping a ton of cash on something that you don’t even like doing and that will make you miserable for hours.
Sound familiar?
Well of course it does, that’s dating in a nutshell. However, what I’m alluding to stretches beyond the realm of a normally painful date (going to see a romantic comedy, eating brunch hung-over on a Sunday morning, attending a musical, etc.) and reaches into an entirely different stratosphere.
I’m talking about elaborate dates — the ones that you have to set up months in advance before you even know how long the relationship will last; ones that you make at the persuasion of her friends because she really loves butterflies and has never been to a butterfly exhibit before.
These are the dates that will not only cost you time in preparation and anticipation, but will more than likely drain the bank account faster than a trip to Las Vegas.
Here are five examples of the worst kind of elaborate dates that you shouldn’t considering taking her on unless you’re sure she’s the one — or if you just got a raise at your job or won the lottery.
Spa Day
You have to be either really loaded or criminally insane if you’re willing to treat her to a spa day and join her in the experience.
In case you failed math in kindergarten, that’s the price of two heads, not one, and spas are very costly. It’s one thing if this is the Christmas gift you decide to get her to do alone, but it’s an entirely different animal if you commit to going with her.
Not only will you’re bank account suffer dramatically, but you will be second-guessing yourself from the minute you walk in when you realize going to the spa is what women do — together.
Sure, men and women go as couples, but only when they’re married. Unless this is some sort of pre-engagement type strategy, then you should avoid going down this road.
Note: a spa day is exactly how it sounds — an all day affair at the spa. Normal dates average 90 minutes to two hours. Why extend that time frame by six hours?
Surprise date (to anywhere)
The real problem with this one isn’t money, or even time, really. Rather, it has to do with resentment.
Some girls love surprises, while other girls hate them with a dying passion. Let’s say you set up this elaborate surprise to take her to another state — or worse, another country — and she absolutely hates the idea. You will end up resenting her for rejecting your well-intentioned plans and she will end up resenting you for trying to force something on her that she previously did not agree to. Predictably, your relationship will crumble in the aftermath of this and you two will be broken up before the end of the month.
What a disaster, and this hypothetical doesn’t even include the worst possibility — you go over to her place to surprise her and take her out and she’s with another dude.
That’s truly the worse case scenario though. I’m sure that’ll never happen to you…
Make her dream come true
On paper this sounds like a bulletproof idea. Let’s say she’s an aspiring musician and you rent a recording studio for an hour. It’s such a generous and personal gesture that you’re guaranteed to get fucked like it’s your last on earth and earn her love for years to come. And better yet, it’s a date you don’t necessarily even have to attend!
However, the downside to this is similar to the surprise date: the session in the studio doesn’t go well and she turns out to be totally ungrateful that you did this for her. The resentment cycle kicks into play again and you break up within a month’s time.
Worse over, you just forked over a ton of cake to give her that opportunity and it all went to waste.
I feel like I’ve seen this in a movie before.
Anything in the sky
Skydiving, hot air balloon rides, and personal helicopter flight are all extremely adventurous ideas that she will love with boundless adoration. If this is a chick you’ve been with a few months and you want to take it to the next level, then this should be your go to play.
There’s always a but though and this one is pretty obvious: if you pay for a personal flight for two, then you will be hemorrhaging money and you may never recover financially.
Plus, once you’ve taken her up into the clouds what can you possibly do next that will impress her? Her interests are bound to fade away after being taken to beyond the mountaintop.
Even if you’re smart enough to figure out your next big date to further woo her, you still won’t have the monetary resources to make it happen. You’ll probably end up recycling the old “let’s stay in and watch Netflix” proposal a few dozen times over the next months and it’ll get old pretty quick.
Next thing you know she’ll be leaving you on the couch one Saturday morning to go on a “hike” and she’ll never come back.
Private date through a famous place
It could a museum or a park or a sports stadium — don’t do it. Similar to all the above, it will be costly and time consuming to plan out, and really should only be considered if you’re pretty close to proposing to her.
It may sounds like a cheap excuse not to do something that’s so once in a lifetime, but hey, that’s the brutal reality of life — most of us simply aren’t wealthy or powerful enough to arrange to have Madison Square Garden closed for a day.
And even if we did have such discretionary income, wouldn’t we want to spend it on something more worthwhile and memorable — say, like Stanley Cup tickets.