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This Dad Recorded His Daughter’s Epic Selfie Session… God Help Us All

By / 08.26.14

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I am never around teenagers these days. That’s probably for the best. It might be weird if, as a 28-year-old man, I was constantly hanging out with teenagers. But since I’m not around them ever, I have no idea what it’s like to be one these days. This video of a girl taking dozens (maybe hundreds!) of selfies in the back seat of her dad’s car is pretty much how I imagine all teenagers to be in 2014.

I feel like teens are more selfie than human at this point. I’m sure that in most high schools, they’ve replaced photography class with selfie class. All actual cameras have been discarded into a nearby river, and the entire class is taught on iPhone.

How are we going to have any doctors or politicians or any serious professions when every single person who was born after 2002 has their entire life documented via selfie? I could never respect my doctor if he had an Instagram filled with dozens of lame selfies.

As a side note – I wish people would stop making wacky faces. Wacky faces are never funny, and they just make me uncomfortable. This many wacky faces in a row is enough to make me puke.

I pray to Jesus of Nazareth that my teenagers don’t act like this, but if they do, I’m sure I’ll get my robot babysitter to whip them into shape. You better believe that.

Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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