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I Can’t Decide If I’m Impressed Or Horrified At This Crazy Lady’s Rap About Penis Size

By / 07.29.14

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On one hand, she’s got good rhythm and body movement. I can’t even knock the lyrics because they’re genuinely funny:

I want grade A beef, so I can sport it
Don’t want no brotha with a shortage
If you small then I’m b—-in,
Tellin you, you a little short a few inches
See I ain’t got time for no Tic Tac,
See a girly like me needs a Big Mac,
You know I gotta be good to my KitKat
So you small-time brothas I ain’t wit that

Don’t bring it to me if it’s little,
‘Cause I’ve gotta have something in the middle,
Make me squirm baby, make me wiggle,
I wanna scream boy, not giggle
I want something that I can feel when it’s in me,
Don’t want no stuff that’s skinny
Make my stomach real full, like a muscle den pulled,
Like a b—h been eatin at Wendy’s

Let me see if you can hit that spot, boy
Can you make it go crackle and pop, boy?
So tell me are you packin’ or not boy?
‘Cause if you ain’t then see ya,
And the next man wouldn’t wanna be ya
‘Cause when you hit this c–t,
You better come legit and make a b—h say, “Mamma Mia”

Make me scream like hell, make me back up
But to do that you got to pack up
Make me moan and groan when you swing that bone
Like a car have my leg all jacked up

On the other hand, the image of this woman getting railed out by some poor soul who clearly needs higher standards is terrifying. Just the thought of her screaming at him about how his dick needs to be bigger is enough to give me nightmares, and I don’t even have a penis to empathize with.

[H/T MTV News]


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Rebecca Martinson
About Rebecca Martinson... Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.

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