Last week my Facebook timeline started blowing up with reactions from people I haven’t talked to in years. A streaker ran on the field at PNC Park in Pittsburgh during the Great Pierogi Race. He was chased down by police and eventually arrested, since that’s what happens when you make the stupid decision to run on the field during a professional sporting event. In true streaker form, he took his shirt off in the process, causing a hilarious reaction from the fans. The story made Deadspin (they called him an “idiot”) and blew up on social media:
— QuoteStreet (@QuoteStreetApp) April 3, 2014
— Patrick Kernan Quinn (@PatKernanQuinn) April 3, 2014
It was a surreal spectacle to watch unfold on social media because, well, uh… I know this man. Pretty well, actually. His name is Luke Oyler. We grew up and went to high school together, having many a fun times running around in the Pennsylvania woods from 2004 – 2006, camping out, drinking beers, freestyle rapping in dorm rooms over a guitar, going to basketball games, etc. I have stories and really fond, funny memories hanging out with him. We saw each other at a wedding last summer. It was fun.
He’s a wildcard, though. Like, in a Benny Hinn-meets-Charlie-Day sort of way.
In a weird way I feel vaguely responsible for all of this. One night, freshman year of college, we were joking around at a Penn State branch campus near our hometown. In jest, during a game of ping-pong doubles, I dared him to streak through an upcoming biology final we had together. I’m pretty sure he was failing the class, so he sort of had a “nothing left to lose” mentality about it. I forgot about the dare pretty darn quickly, thinking “who the hell would actually do that?,” until the day of the test, when a butt-naked dude with a cowboy hat and a bandana over his face ran into our classroom right at the beginning of the test. The professor ran down the hallway chasing him, then he jumped in the back of a pick-up truck that drove away. He got caught a couple hours later when he wore the hat to the residence hall cafeteria a couple hours later.
This was all pre-YouTube, pre-camera phone. I’m pretty sure it’d be an incredible viral video if it happened now. Clearly he enjoyed himself, though, doing the same thing nearly 10 years later in front of thousands.
But anyway, earlier this week he gave a follow-up interview to Pittsburgh’s WPIX news channel about his lifetime ban from PNC Park. It’s classic Luke in all his craziness. A breakdown of the highlights:
- He’s wearing goggles with no lens.
- He says he wants to play a one-on-one basketball game with Andrew McCutchen.
- He says he wanted to “get his name out there” by doing this.
- He says he’s “thankful he got caught,”
- He brags about his music videos on YouTube.
- Lots of religion talk, cause that’s kind of his thing.
- He’s been fined $2000 and auctioning his basketball shoes that he wore on the field to pay the find. Also, is hoping some professional athletes help him out with his new-found legal troubles.
- He says he’s writing a book called “Freedom of Streak.”
- He says he wants to bring a professional basketball team to Pittsburgh called “The Radients.” Paging David Stern…
- He raps BIGGIE at the end, which is the craziest thing you’ll ever watch.
Good luck with all that, Luke. Life is just a lot more fun when you have interesting friends. Watch:
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