Life
by J. Camm on July 30, 2013

Live in NYC with 2 of my buddies. One, whom we call “dad” has a serious GF, the other is my partner in crime. Dad was away this weekend, so the boys will play.

Friday, I convince the girl i am “seeing” to come in with a friend. Pre-gaming ensues, partying concludes, it's 3am and we are in bed. Mind you I've convinced myself I actually like this girl, so in a very un-bro like manner, we just hooked up and talked, until her friend demands they take a cab home…at 4:30am. (My buddy informed me said friend also gave him 15 seconds worth of dome before exclaiming “Knew I could tease you” and walking out of the room).

So, feeling slighted, I walk them out ready to accept defeat. I shit you not, the second this girl gets in a cab, my phone rings. It's a former flame, claiming that her apartment is packed up for a move and she needs a place to crash. At 4:45am. Right.

She comes over, and I promptly give her my best drunken C-list performance.

Wake, up, have round 2, and she is out by 9am. A win in my book.

My roommate and PIC's bro goes to Penn State and by noon he is at our apartment with 2 smokes from school. What he forgot was that he had a grad party to attend, so he graciously offers to leave these two college girls with us for the day/night. We happily oblige. They go shopping, we go drinking. I wake up from a nap at 4pm with a hand in my pants and tits in my face. I like how PSU gets down.

These girls continue to parade around our apartment naked, flashing guys from our balcony, chugging champagne out of the bottle. It was pretty surreal and my buddy and I were loving it. We decide we need a break, and head out for the night, sans college girls (we gave them a key to the apartment). After we had our fun, and return home, we find both of them naked in our respective beds.

I find out my girl is an absolute freak, and she “makes” me hit it about 4 times that night.

I wake up, take a shower, and the curtain gets pulled back. This girl gives me farewell dome, and gets back on a bus.

You really painted a picture of two magnificent whores here. Their sexual savagery is almost unbelievable. You sure your drunk ass didn't strike out, fall asleep while watching porn and jacking off and dream all of this? 

NEXT!

So my story is from my Sophomore year at college…I played basketball at a D-1 college and this happened right before our season was starting. We had a few days off of training as pre-season just ended and the real grind was about to begin with practice and all that anti-fun shit. My hall consisted of rooms of 4 soccer players, 4 LAX bros and 3 basketball players and all of us partied hard. Our RA(hall monitor for you ass hats that don’t know what RA means) was a 5th year under grad that only had a semester remaining. Let’s call her Molly. She was the president of one of the hottest Sororities on campus. Oh yeah, she was fat too. Not enormous, but bigger. I’d still give her a 1 because she’s a pretty girl but the bitch was not in shape. All the athletes made a bet that one of us has to fuck her at some point during the semester so we can do whatever the fuck we wanted to all year.

Anyway, all the athletes go out for the night and I’m pounding Bankers Vodka like it’s Jenna Jameson in her prime. Needless to say, I get pretty fucking hammered and am on the prowl for something to slay. I strike out at the party and make my way back to my dorm alone and dejected.

But alas! The night’s festivities were not over. Upon the entrance of the elevator, Molly, the authority of my hall, is standing there more fucked up then Tyrion Lannister at a wine-tasting competition. After a little bit of small talk, we step off the elevator and I announce without any warning “When in doubt, whip it out” and proceed to pull my cock out right in front of the elevator. She was confused and then her eyes lit up like I was giving her diamond earrings. She stared at my man-meat, then to my eyes, then back to my man-meat and with no words said, dropped to her knees and began to slurp my manhood. We bring the sucking into my room which luckily is still empty at this point and shut the lights.

Now my room is dark as fuck and I’m substantially drunk. We start fucking with her on top and amidst switching positions and whiskey dick, her pussy starts to dry up. Since I am a problem solver, I solve the problem with a little lotion. I squirt a couple glops into my hand and begin applying said lotion to my RAs dry twat, inside and out.

And then the horror begins. She almost immediately shoots up off of my bed after I start rubbing her pussy and in horror yells “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? WHAT THE FUCK” She starts shrieking, “YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE, YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE, OW, OW, OW, OW.” She runs out of my room completely naked, runs into her own room up the hall and slams the door. She was yelling loudly as she ran back to her room, so other people in the hall came out to investigate the commotion. All you can hear from her is loud moans of pain echoing from the shower behind the closed door of her room. She awoke half the floor SCREAMING, and people were all looking around like “What the fuck happened”…

And then I returned to my room from the hallway.

In my drunken stupor, I realized that I accidentally(or was it?) put hand sanitizer on my hands instead of body lotion. The squirt bottles were side by side on my desk and it was pitch dark. I must have been too drunk to smell that shit when I squirted it. So instead of some pleasant aloe lubrication to bring her to pound town, her pussy was coated with a burning, alcohol infused, anti-bacterial germ-x. It was everywhere, inside her vagina, all on her pussy lips, on her clit. It probably felt like her cunt was coated in hot sauce…or lava. She’s just lucky that the burn started before I made it to her ass because that was the next destination for my hands. At least I decided to rub it on her pussy instead of coating my cock in it.

Still finished the job next weekend.

Thank god she's ok. The whole time while I was reading that all I could think was, “Oh no. Her poor, fat pussy…”

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[Sex image via ShutterStock]