Today's Craigslist Find of the Day is a “Bro Palace” in the D.C. area looking to add a new roommate. Here it is in all it's glory:
$770 1 Bedroom in a 6Br, 3 story Bro Palace- America (Mt. Pleasant)
WARNING: If you are not a complete Brohemouth, do not read this ad. The awesome of this house will make your face melt like Raiders of the Lost Ark. We've had this Temple to Broseidon under our control since W. went Ameri-bro and Mission Accomplished the shit out of Iraq and it has seen some of the greatest bros of the last decade pass through its hallowed halls: 2 direct descendants of the A-Team, they guy who came up with Under Armour's “We must protect this house” campaign, Nicholas Cage, and a surfer bro that made Keanu Reeves in Point Break look like Lionel Richie. After coming to America to learn the ways of the brah, our recent international brotege has flown by the seat of his pants back Down Under, most likely to bang as many foreign chicks as possible. We're looking for a bro of epic broportions, talent and exploits to fill his spot in the brahacracy.
About the house itself:
- The house, as any true Brotel should, has its own brah-niker: Sparta, because what's more brah than being the most cock diesel fighters of all the ancient world? Slaying mad b*tches thats what, which were pretty sure the Spartans did too. if these guys were around today they'd wear Affliction Tees for sure bro
- Kitchen equipped with multiple blenders for protein shakes
- if you need to know more, then youre no bro, and your face will start melting any minute now The bros in this house like to party hard and bang chicks even harder. If you hate China and Russia winning any Olympic medal shared and shed a bro-tear when Phelps won his 8th gold medal, join the club. However, only real Teddy Brosevelts know that the true tragedy was the IOC (also known as Vichy France) didnt let Phelps compete in every event. Moving on, owning some container capable of holding more than 4 beers at once is an absolute requirement. Having recently banged a chick born in the 90's is a plus. If it was doggy and you didnt call her ever again… BRO-FIVE! If you think you're brah enough to enter the kingdom of brah, respond to this ad. Our response will either come in the form of an email or by means of bald eagle courier. RamBros love America. Brahsta La Vista.