This Craigslist Ad For An ‘Absolute Piece Of Shit’ 1999 Chevy Cavalier Is Brutally Honest

If you have a spare $700 in cash and live in Kenosha, Wisconsin, you can take the owner of this 1999 Chevy Cavalier out of his misery. This man wrote perhaps the most brutally honest Craigslist ad of all time (which, unfortunately, has now been flagged for removal), calling it “an absolute piece of shit” and warning potential buyers that “seriously, if you are a single guy and you were hoping to get laid this summer, don’t even bother reading this ad.”

He continues:

“Driving this car will assure you of a hote season of involuntary abstinence better than inviting girls to your weekly Dungeons and Dragons game in your mom’s basement.”

I feel like BroBible needs to help this guy out. Whatever helps this man get laid again. I think we should start an IndieGoGo or GoFundMe campaign just to buy this P.O.S. car off this guy, then have him destroy it with a crowbar for the Internet’s enjoyment. Put the car out of its misery for the years of suffering he endured with it. He’d probably take a good amount of pleasure in going full Walter Sobchak on it.

 

Hell, maybe if we raise enough money he’ll recreate the famous “this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!” scene from The Big Lebowski.

Read the ad below.

What do you think of my idea? Let’s make it happen, Internet. Show of support in the comments and maybe we’ll actually start it. If you’re the owner of this car, e-mail me — brandon at brobible dot com.

[H/T: Uproxx]

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com