And this is why I don’t take dumps in public, ladies and gentlemen. Just kidding, I’m a girl so I don’t actually poop. But if you’re a guy who just happened to be lucky enough to use the Mobile gas station in Chesterfield, Missouri, there’s a chance you could technically be a porn star…well, maybe “star” is stretching it. You’re just in shitty porn.
Apparently David Cerna, a six-year veteran officer of the Chesterfield Police Department, placed hidden cameras in a Mobile gas station’s toilet and recorded videos of everyone’s dumps in order to put them on his very own pornographic video site.
Cerna told police that in January, he bought a domain name from a web hosting company and created a site where he would post about 40 videos at a time.
Reaction to the charges against Cerna ranged from dismay to apathy to disgust.
That begs the question though of who made the cut and who didn’t. Obviously more than 40 people use any given gas station bathroom over the span of a week, which means Cerna had to pick and choose which buttholes were glorious enough to have the privilege of appearing on his site. His website isn’t online anymore (which I’m sure 99% of you already know since you just tried Google searching it), so we can only assume the most beautiful and groomed butts with the least-lava-like shits made it up there.
Taking a break from talking about poop, this is my favorite part of this whole thing.
Cerna’s reported website included an interesting discussion when someone posted “is this legal?” The response reads, “I’m not an attorney so I don’t know.”
Nah, you’re just a POLICE OFFICER secretly taping BATHROOM POOPS. Total grey area. My unprofessional advice is that you should go flip a coin and if it lands on heads then you’re definitely not doing anything illegal.
Then again, I’m not a police officer OR an attorney, so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me.