Life
by David Covucci on March 12, 2014

JENNETTE McCURDY at Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards

When we last left college sex columnists, they were informing us that multitudes of college kids were forsaking traditional vaginal sex for ventures into the unexplored terrain of the ass.

What advice have they conjured up in the literal one week since we left them?

Well, if you’re Julia Reinstein of American University (GO EAGLES!), she thinks you shouldn’t use the phrase ‘pussy’ when sexting.

WAT?

“The word ‘pussy,’” Reinstein told Huffington Post Live “I never want any part of me to be called that?”

I say again … WAT? I mean, sure I can imagine not wanting your foot to be called a pussy because that’s a foot and not a pussy, but pussy is literally the ONLY sexy word men are allowed to use for vagina.

Here are words Menfolk currently can’t use while sexting: twat, cunt, box, chatch, vag; basically any slang term for ‘vagina’ is something women hate. Texting “I can’t wait to stick my cock in your cunt,” would be a relationship-ender.

And now, you want ‘pussy’ banned? What would you suggest we use in its place?

“I think the only reason we don’t think ‘vagina’ is a sexy word is because we’ve been taught that ‘vagina’ isn’t a sexy word.”

Whose curriculum are you working off? Vagina isn’t a sexy word because it’s the scientific phrase for your lady parts. Science ain’t sexy, despite what Neil deGrasse Tyson tweets. I would be bored if a woman texted me “I want your penis.” That’s not hot. That’s just fact stating. There’s no artistic flourish, which is the point of sexting.

I asked a girl whom I used to sext with what she preferred and she said “You.” “Say ‘Inside You.’ ”

So, now we’re at the point where we can’t even say anything about what you have south of your hips?

The fuck is a sexting boy to do?


[Cat via Wikipedia]

David Covucci

About David Covucci...

David Covucci is writerer-bloggerer for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.